He just answered, "I think it's because you are having and given a lot of expectations, from outside n inside". And, it just can't be any truer. Exactly, that's the main cause, I think. And I thank God, that He used BBTC to deal with this issue of expectation, condemnation, grace in my life. I am now really much better in term of this. However, this is the consequence, cause I have chosen that 'long-cut', the 'round and round' path.. Well, it's ok.. there are still lot of things in front that I can do to glorify God in my life, I believe, as God's transforming more and more into His image n plan.
He also said, "who say that all the past decisions you made were wrong?", and I must admit, it pretty much comforted (an wei) me :)
And I thank God, for letting him remind me of this,
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference" (He said it in simplified Indonesian)
I have seen this phrase many times in different bookmarks, but this time when he told me that, it's just so applicable to my life in this point of time. And yeah... I really need to do that... Only then, I'll be able to live my life from now on, in a way that I'm not wasting every single breathe of mine, but to really make the whole of me (body, mind and soul) be a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, glorifying God, this is my spiritual act of worship. God... need your grace and help and wisdom. And... I guess, that's the conclusion of conversation.
Thank you, fren.. So glad that you still understand me so well and are willing to share and encourage..
(Friday, 10 July 09 03.20pm)
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