Yi han..

25/11/08 10:11am

Listening to Betty's family recording for their mum during Mother's day. I feel like doing this for mum too,3 of us + the grandchildren. But just like many other times, whenever I thought of doing something for Dad & Mum, there'll always this "yi han" in my deepest heart: Koko! Everytime, I look at other's family who are so loving and close to each other, my heart would just be overwhelmed, weep. Yes, every single time, I'd just so admire them, and that to happen in my family. Actually it's not impossible for my family, only if Koko's changed.

Sometimes I really wonder what made him like that. I asked God many times, but no answer yet.

Does he hate Dad & Mum? If so, God, How's the reconciliation need to be? I believe! I believe there's nothing impossible for You. I know You are able to change him, in the way that we'd have never thought of. But one thing I ask... may that happen while Dad & Mum are still around, give Your faithful servants a chance to witness that miracle in our family, I believe it'll be the most wonderful and joyous moment for them, and for me. May this wonder works of Yours heal their hurts and give us chance to enjoy that wonderful moments together. God, I really ask this in Jesus Christ Name. Amen!

I'm so glad that I did the video for Pa's birthday. But, I could only do it on my own. I really wish to do it together with cece and koko.

I used to tell God that if Pa has to face this in his life, then may I be the one who comfort them, please them, being a good and adorable daughter to them. But now I know, I can please them, love them, but I'll never be able to replace ko. They being happy for having me is one thing, but being sad about koko is totally another thing; just like I'm being so thankful, glad, and proud for having these parents is really another thing with my sadness of having this koko. Whenever I see a family with a loving, protecting, adorable son, I always admire it, envy them.

And now, once again I whisper... God... I want it.. I want to see it... I want to see the miracle... And I believe You can.. only You can change him. Thank You, Father...

(Wrote this in my dcOptima notebook, and only today, 12/12/08 can finish typing it to blog ^^)