Revelation

All this while, everytime I was about to pray for Ko, I always be speechless, not knowing how to pray... And suddenly, last Friday nite (19 Dec 08), when I was about to pray, I was very sure that it was a revelation from God, I just knew that God wanted me to pray for this: "That God gives Papa, Mommy, myself, Cuce (my sis in law), Jia Ling (my sis), Indra (my bro in law), Saintly, Gracy, Andrew, and Joyce LOVE to love, accept, uphold, support, and encourage koko that he has the second chance". That was really a wonderful moment. I had spent the whole night, after getting home, til about 1.30am cleaning my house stuff, but at that moment, not to mention tired, I was full-of-spirit to pray, and mentioned them by name. Just in seconds, I was overwhelmed, in tears, and in presence of God. So, I'm really sure that's God's revelation, not my thought, or feeling.


So I quickly typed my sms about this and saved into draft (because it was too late to send sms to the whole of my family).
The next morning, once I woke up, I sent the message to Pa, Jie, and So. I got an encouraging respond from Pa saying that he extremely agree with me, that he wants to show love to Ko, and see Ko as someone who's been changed by God.

The next day, we watched a drama "Blood Brothers" by BBTC, which also talked about "second chance". It was an amazingly transforming drama, well acted and was full of anointing. During the whole drama, I kept thinking of Ko... He needs to know that he still have second chance, that he's still being loved, that he still have hope, that he still can be changed and change, that God still love him much.

After that Fri and Sat, I kept on thinking of Ko. I kept on feeling very sad for him. I could feel that actually he also feels very helpless about himself. I think it could've been many times that he also didn't like the way he is, he also wanted to change, wanted to be good but he just failed and failed, until he gave up and felt that there's nothing he can do about it anymore, so just let it be... (These are all what I thought have been felt by ko all this while, but this time the feeling is very strong, as if it's true... so, I'll take it as something that God puts in me to help me understand ko from his hardship, to see him as someone who needs help, not to be condemned). So I kept on praying that God will let him know that he is still being loved by God and us, that he still have hope, and that he needs God, to rely on God.

And yeah... my mission during this time going home for Chinese New Year is to love, love and love him... Love you, Ko... God, I need you, your love...