Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Just a confession about my... tongue...

Suddenly I realized, that recently, I not only lack of love n mercy towards others, but also have been using a lot of condemning words... Just a very simple example, last nite when I talked about A&C, Deni asked what A&C means? And before I told her the answer, I said, "Wah.. Den, how long have you been in Agape, n u don't know this term?". Why must I add this condemning sentence? It was not necessary at all!!! Oh Yun, you really gotta watch out your not only attitude, but also tongue!Hm.. thank You, Holy Spirit, for reminding me of this... And God, please keep me...

Looks like God's really molding me to be purer to be involved in His works... n reminding me of how a bad person I can be, if it's not by His grace, mercy and love.. So, yeah... if I can love God, serve God, have desire to know, love, n serve Him, it's really not by might... It's not about me at all... but it's all about God!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Only because He's worthy!

Next week is the commencement of the "Blessing Campaign" of BBTC.
During that Sunday service worship, this song ministered so much to me, encourage me, urge me, and caused my spirit to be so lifted up n full of desire to give and live my life for God as I take part in this "Blessing Campaign", blessing as many people as I can. I was so inspired to start living proactively, blessing others in tangible ways. (And I got an idea to make cards with my name n phone number on it to be given away to everyone who I bless, so anytime, they can contact me again to know more about Jesus... Jesus, I submit this plan n desire of mine into your mighty hands)
Especially when we reach the "Worthy" part, I was so deeply convicted that all that I'm gonna do in serving Him, it's for none other reason, but bcause He's worthy... Yes, He's worthy!

"Alabaster Jar"
(By Zach Neese)
Intro:
G D/F# Em C
Verse 1:
G
This alabaster jar
D/F#
is all I have of worth
Em7
I break it at Your feet, Lord
C
It's less than You deserve
G
You're far more beautiful
D/F#
More precious than the oil
Em7
The sum of my desires
C
and the fullness of my joy!
PreChorus:
Em7
Like You spilled Your blood,
C Em7
I spill my heart as an offering
D
to my King
Chorus:
G D/F#
Here I am, take me
Em7 C
As an offering
G D/F# Em7
Here I am, giving every heartbeat
C G
For Your glory take me
Verse 2:
The time that I have left
is all I have of worth
I lay it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
And though I've little strength
And though my days are few,
You gave Your life for me
So, I will live my life for You
Bridge:
G
Worthy, Worthy
D
You are worthy
Em7 C
Worthy is the Lord (repeat as desired) (sing simultaenous with Chorus)

Wu Liao

I've concluded, being with you is so 'wu liao'... feels unappreciated... a waste of time...

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Someone...

This was actually drafted in my handphone a while ago (Feb 09) Only know I manage to write it here, in my blog ^^

Someone who accepts and loves me for who I am...

Someone I can sing together with...
Someone I can paly music together with...
Someone I can have devotion together with...
Someone I can pray together with...
Someone I can worship together with...
Someone I can serve together with...
Someone I can do charity together with...
Someone I can be passionate together with...


Someone who's so kind, generous, loving and caring to not only me, but also my whole family...
Someone who's so dear to not only me, but also my whole family, especially my parents...


Someone whom I really really want and wish to live the rest of my life with...

These I ask, Oh God... the lover of my soul n my life....
And I ask for a relationship full of romance, memories... together we glorify and serve the Lord...


(It sounds bit 'muluk-muluk', I know... But my God's sooo good... He allows me to ask, and He says that I shall receive... My God is soo good, He loves me so much that He wants me to be happy, that He wants to grant me the desire of my heart... Yes, God... I believe! I believe!)

John 16:24
"Until now you have not ask for anything in My Name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete."


John 15:7
"If you remain in Me, and My Words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you."


^-^

My wish for my 'relationship to be' was pretty much impressed by TMC & BC's relationship. So sweet... admirable... :)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Pa... Mi... I Miss You!

Mon, 20 April 09 10pm

Pa... Mi... I miss you so much...
I wish I could see you everyday... I wish I could be with you and take care of you everyday... I wish... I wish... I wish... And I really want it!!!

The more I think, the more I'm saddened... About 10 more years, Pa will be in his 80s. Say during this period, I go home once a year, I'll only see them 10 times during that 10 years. And I deeply surely know very well, 10 years pass very very fast... No!!! I can't let that happen... God... I don't wanttt!!! God... can u please open a way for me???

(I cried badly while taking shower just now) I want to see Pa and mi everyday... I want to stay with them... I want to see them everytime I come back from work. But how???

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Susan Boyle (2) - "Who am I to let them down?"

It’s been quite a weekend for BGT sensation Susan Boyle.
The 47 year-old singer, who delighted everyone with her powerful performance of I Dreamed A Dream from Les Mis on Saturday’s show, hasn’t let stardom go to her head.

Instead she turned up for church as usual on Easter Sunday morning, reportedly receiving rapturous applause from her friends in the congregation.

She said, “It was incredible. Although we sing in church not a lot of them know how good I was, so it was a bit of a shock for them”.

“Everyone is very nice and it’s lovely when all the kids stop me in the street to congratulate me.”

Many of the churchgoers know Susan well – but for different reasons. Currently unemployed, the singer devotes a lot of time doing community work on the church’s behalf.

She told us, “I like to help out where I can and I mostly do voluntary work. I help out the elderly, stuff like that. And I visit people in hospital. I’ve been doing that for a year and a half now”.

It’s been a tough time for Susan, who now lives alone in her childhood home following the death of her 91 year-old mother, Bridget, in 2007.

But Susan’s positive attitude - as well as her desire to keep busy - has kept her spirits up.

She told us, “A lot of things can happen that have been really sad and you’ve got to cover it up. You either laugh or you’d greet (cry). And we’d all be greeting, that would be a terrible mess”.

“Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone. I don’t intend to be alone for long”.

Judging by the many messages of support on this website, Susan has millions of new friends and fans out there, for starters. And the people of West Lothian are certainly behind her all the way!

She smiled, “The whole village is cheering me on. West Lothian would wish me well, I hope, that is the kind of community it is”.

“And I will be doing my best. Before I left, they told me, 'If you can behave yourself and stop your carry on, you will do well. You can sing okay'”.

“Who am I to let them down?”

Susan Boyle (1)

"It went down a bomb," says delighted Susan...
When Susan Boyle bounded onto the Glasgow stage there weren’t many in the three thousand-strong audience that gave her a chance of being any good.

When she informed the crowd that she wanted to be a singer like Elaine Paige the judges raised their collective eyebrows and the audience burst into uproar and laughter.

First impressions, as Amanda Holden later pointed out, can be wholly misleading, and when Susan finished her rendition of I Dreamed A Dream she looked into the audience to discover nobody was laughing at her anymore.

“When I opened my mouth and began to sing I won over my doubters. Being on that stage and being on the other end of that reception was absolutely fantastic. It went down a bomb".

Giggling and bashful, she remembered her standing ovation, saying: "As soon as everyone stood up I was thinking, there must be fivers underneath that seat. There must have been money somewhere – especially for the judges to do it. Piers Morgan as well"!

"I was pole-axed with joy when I came off.”

And recalling what the judges told her, Susan smiled again. "“The judges’ comments were wonderful; they made me feel like I can actually achieve something."

"Piers Morgan said he’d like to see a lot more of Susan Boyle. Amanda, she wasn’t very sure to begin with, but she changed her mind. She said all 'I can say is just 'wow''. Simon just laughed. He’s a good guy, him".

In fact, there are rumours that Simon and Susan have since chatted about the possibility of a much dreamed-of record deal.

Susan grinned, "The goal is to get out there, make a record, and hopefully make other people happy.”

But the ultimate wish for Susan is to be accepted by people as a performer.

“If that happens,” she smiles with a twinkle in her eye, “I’ll be one happy lady!”

12 April 2009
(http://talent.itv.com/news/story/item_100062.htm)

Susan Boyle



A star is born!
The audience were on their feet and cheering by the time 47 year-old Susan Boyle had finished singing.

The unassuming, currently unemployed lady from West Lothian near Edinburgh had looked shy and a little out of place as she stepped on stage.

There were even smirks on the judges' faces when she told them, "I am trying to be a professional singer. I've never been given a chance before but hopefully that will change".

Then Susan, who has ambitions to sing on stage like Elaine Paige, launched into the West End anthem I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables.

And the look of shock and awe on Simon Cowell's face as he did a double-take at her talent was worth a million pounds in itself. As Simon recovered, Piers and Amanda were giving Susan a standing ovation.

Piers told her, "Without a doubt that was the biggest surprise I have had in three years. When you stood there with that cheeky grin and said 'I want to be like Elaine Paige' everyone was laughing at you. No-one is laughing now, that was stunning. I am reeling from shock".

Amanda agreed. "I am so thrilled because I know everyone was against you. We are all so cynical but that was a complete wake up call. It was a complete privilege".

And Simon, so impressed he tried to pretend he knew what was coming from the start, said, "Susan, I knew from the minute you walked onto the stage that we were going to hear something extraordinary and I was right".

The delighted hopeful had already heard a "Definitely yes" from Amanda, and "The biggest yes I have ever given anybody" from Piers, when Simon rounded off the judges comments.

He said; "Susan, you can go back to the village with your head held high - you have three yeses".

"You are a little tiger!"

11 April 2009
(http://talent.itv.com/news/story/item_100057.htm)

Friday, April 17, 2009

'Calefare'? Not forever pls...

Working here, has actually been good... OK, at least :)Good salary, 'OK' workload (well... seasonly, sometimes busy sometimes free, like now, I'm not having anything to do), unkiller bosses who leave you alone as long as u manage n do ur works well, fun n stress-relieving working environment, workplace which is not too far from house, etc.

Yes, from e beginning, I didn't plan to stay here for long, but it's only recently that I strongly felt that I really need to move sooner, I'm not that young anymore to start things. Well, in this job, I actually like administration and paper work quite well, especially the tender preparation part (that was also why I decided to take up this job), but because it's out of my area of exxpertise, there are certain areas that I can't still work independently, especially the Technical Proposal. It seems that I couldn't really give significant contribution here, and I hardly improve effectively. So, I really feel the need to move on to IT-related field where I can improve, expand, and build a better career.

After all, the main reason is that "I don't want to be 'calefare' forever!" Is this a sign of the "Hunger for Significance"? haha... I think so... well.. gotta finish reading the book soon :)

But most and foremost, God... please show me Your way... Yeah... You'll always be the 'Controller', I'll wait on You.. knowing that You'll provide me the best.. the best which is not according to my eyes, but what You think is the best for me. Thank You, Lord...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Internet @ home

Finally... after almost a year, we decided to sign up an internet line with SingTel, 3 mbps, $36/mth (shared by 3 of us), 2 years contract.So, with internet access at home, will it pay much contribution on the improvement of my blogging? hehe... let's see... ^^ But, I have to make sure that it won't affect my reading commitment, hm... yeah... gotta manage my time well.. TWA, reading, internet-ing, rest, exercise, and self-improvement.

Today woke up very late, felt quite bad about it. No body was at home when I woke up, and the loneliness was quite overwhelming. Then I decided to do our housekeeping schedule which I just realized had been neglected for a while :( ,then did housekeeping, went to Jurong Point, bought contact lens and KFC, brought home for lunch, online for a while, then when I was about to go out to meet Tony, it was raining heavily, so held back.

And... I went out with Tony. Went to Tecman to get a KJV Bible as Deni's baptism present, and CD, and DVD. Then we went to a new mall in Tampines, wow.. haha... super duper crowded, but it's a good exposure ^^ nice place, nice dinner at BBQ Chicken.

(Well.. this was supposed to be posted on Saturday, 11 April 2009, hehe...

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Tired... helpless...

I'm feeling so down... so discouraged... so betrayed... so unappreciated... so failed... so disregarded... But I can't blame them, I'm the one who's at fault.

I really want to love, to bless... I indeed felt that my calling here in Singapore is to bless and embrace my friens who'd also come to this country. Those who have not had Christ, I'll bring them to Christ. Those who'd gone apart from God, I'll bring them back. And I really want to do it. But recently, discouragement by discouragement seems to taking in. It's indeed hard to fight my selfishness, my self...

Such a moody, selfish, self-centered, ... me... how can others see/feel the love, care and blessing from me?

At the end... I become totally alone... God... transform me... transform me... I cry... And purify my heart...

Apart from God, I can really do NOTHING...

By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me — a prayer to the God of my life.
(Psalm 42:8)