Xin qing hao... down...
Actually not only today. It has been since Saturday.
Very hard to bear this feeling. Really feel like giving up and make a harsh decision to go home and be with Pa n Mi (though it's actually not the way also, since it will then create another worry for them). But on Saturday (or Sunday) I prayed this, that God, if this is a prompt from God, God please do it another way to convince me to go home, I don't want to make a 'chong dong' decision which is just out of my emotion and 'xiang tai duo'.
Two things were really bothering me throughout last weekend:
1. Fear of losing dad.
All this while, felt a bit weird why I'm feeling worse and worse about my being away from home. Finally, on Saturday I realized that actually my biggest fear that caused all this bad feeling is the fact that Dad's getting older and I have not been able to spend time with him. I found myself crazily asking God to give Pa n Mi long life until I get married and do whatever I'm supposed to do and seen by them, and opportunity for me to spend a lot a lot of times being with them, staying and living together with them, seeing them everyday for a period of time before they finally return to God.
And I guess, this is also one of the reasons why I sometimes got so frustrated seeing the time flies. Because the older I get, means the older Pa and Mi are too, and also mean the time I spent being not with them is more and more, and the time left for me to spend with them are getting less.
God... hao xing ku arrh...
2. That pressure
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
'Craving' for being a volunteer - "Good Work"
Last night watched "Star for a Cause". This time is Michelle Chia joining a group of volunteer from Eden Foundation from Taiwan, serving in a small and very poor village in Philipines, Himaco. From the name, I was pretty sure that it's a christian foundation. So this morning, I tried to check out their website, and yes, it is! In fact, it's Liu Hsia's foundation. For me, Liu Hsia is not of a stranger, knew about her through Heavenly Melody, when they produced the song/album "Ba Ai Liu Xia" which lyric is written by Liu Hsia.
So, I really 'craving' for being a volunteer, if possible, a Christian-mission-driven oversea short term voluntarily work, so it's not only doing good, but also bringing Christ's love. I hope it's not just an emotional force. Well, I don't think it is, because I have always been desiring to be able to be a volunteer or go for a mission trip. And recently, it's really not only based on feeling anymore, but I know for sure that I am created, saved, and being a Christian, to partner with God to do good works, and through that, to let the world know that I am a disciple of God, and to share Christ's love for them.
Some bible basis:
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Colossians 1:10
And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,
2 Timothy 2:21
If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.
2 Timothy 3:17
so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Hebrews 13:21
equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
And see this promise.. wow..
2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
Yes, Zhu, wo yao...
While typing this, my mind was directed to a series of sermon of "Financial Freedom" by SP Dan Foo that touched mostly on sowing, sowing and sowing generously. And yes, I truly think that it has got to do with generousity. So here's the wonderful verse of promise in the bible: 2 Corinthians 9
In term of this, I learned and was confirmed pretty much by the teachings in BBTC also, esp. SP Dan Foo. Yeah, I come to realize more and more that BBTC has really blessed me much in term of "making - the things that I know and have been knowing all these while - make sense, being confirmed, affirmed, and into application."
So, I really 'craving' for being a volunteer, if possible, a Christian-mission-driven oversea short term voluntarily work, so it's not only doing good, but also bringing Christ's love. I hope it's not just an emotional force. Well, I don't think it is, because I have always been desiring to be able to be a volunteer or go for a mission trip. And recently, it's really not only based on feeling anymore, but I know for sure that I am created, saved, and being a Christian, to partner with God to do good works, and through that, to let the world know that I am a disciple of God, and to share Christ's love for them.
Some bible basis:
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Colossians 1:10
And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,
2 Timothy 2:21
If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.
2 Timothy 3:17
so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Hebrews 13:21
equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
And see this promise.. wow..
2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
Yes, Zhu, wo yao...
While typing this, my mind was directed to a series of sermon of "Financial Freedom" by SP Dan Foo that touched mostly on sowing, sowing and sowing generously. And yes, I truly think that it has got to do with generousity. So here's the wonderful verse of promise in the bible: 2 Corinthians 9
In term of this, I learned and was confirmed pretty much by the teachings in BBTC also, esp. SP Dan Foo. Yeah, I come to realize more and more that BBTC has really blessed me much in term of "making - the things that I know and have been knowing all these while - make sense, being confirmed, affirmed, and into application."
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Why am I in Singapore?
Uhmm... Last Sunday, during service, Ps Peter Tsukahira preached bout "The People of the Kingdom of God".
And suddenly I thought of this, "I guess I know 2 of the reasons/purposes of God bringing me to Singapore" (previously, I really didn't know why...).
It is to bring me to BBTC to deal with me the following two issue in my life:
1. No condemnation, even self-condemnation. To have mercy for myself n others. Grace... and grace only... My salvation, value, etc are all by the grace of God only.. There's no need to prove myself.. There's no need to strive for acceptance, for significance..
2. Sacred v.s Secular
(Through how the lay-people serve 'fulltimely', and confirmed by Ps Tsukahira's today message).
Well, I'm not saying "Yayyy... I don't need to be a pastor anymore". I still believe God calls certain people to be in "full-time ministries as in pastors, missionaries, etc", just like He calls doctors, teachers, plumbers, etc. I mean, imagine if I become a pastor before having this long time planted mindset dealt with, I'll be an inmostly arrogant pastor/person, thought that I'm a so obedient child of God, wei da, better than others, etc...
Ohh.. I thank You, Lord... for Your perfect plan in my growing process... Who am I God, that You are so mindful of me??
And suddenly I thought of this, "I guess I know 2 of the reasons/purposes of God bringing me to Singapore" (previously, I really didn't know why...).
It is to bring me to BBTC to deal with me the following two issue in my life:
1. No condemnation, even self-condemnation. To have mercy for myself n others. Grace... and grace only... My salvation, value, etc are all by the grace of God only.. There's no need to prove myself.. There's no need to strive for acceptance, for significance..
2. Sacred v.s Secular
(Through how the lay-people serve 'fulltimely', and confirmed by Ps Tsukahira's today message).
Well, I'm not saying "Yayyy... I don't need to be a pastor anymore". I still believe God calls certain people to be in "full-time ministries as in pastors, missionaries, etc", just like He calls doctors, teachers, plumbers, etc. I mean, imagine if I become a pastor before having this long time planted mindset dealt with, I'll be an inmostly arrogant pastor/person, thought that I'm a so obedient child of God, wei da, better than others, etc...
Ohh.. I thank You, Lord... for Your perfect plan in my growing process... Who am I God, that You are so mindful of me??
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
A blessed 'Pastors' Kid'
Everytime after I talked to Mommy, I'll always feel and in awe listening how Dad n Mum are always in favour with God thru men. It really tells me again and again the perfect care n special favour of God toward His faithful servants. Not only that, it really teach me and make me witness with my own eyes n life the law of "sowing and reaping".
Just now I called them again just to check mum's condition and to chit chat. Mum told me that she's got almost a RM1000 discount from Dr. Goh Kian Hua who did her operation, this is also the Doctor who operated Pa 2 years ago for his cyst and gave discount from his Doctor fee also. And guess what Mum told me.. Mum did a cosmetic surgery in Alor Setar, and when she arrived Kch, not knowing who else to turn to ask for help to take out the thread, she went to look for Dr. Goh. Dr. Goh did it for her. I mean, man... he's a great surgeon! I told Mum, "wah.. nyi an thai liap uu.." haha... And also, for all of Pa n Mi's eyes medication n consultation, Dr. Teo was the one who always take care of that with super cheap price... God... it's just... ah... indescribable...
This is really what Mum reaps by the seed of love, sincerety, generousity in painstakingly and self-less-ly bringing people to Kuching for their medical needs that Mum's sowed.
Oh God... I am just soo touched and in awe of your marvelous and great work in Your servants' life. God... I want to be like them... Ooopss.. I know, this will mean, there'll be a lot of seeds that You'll require me to sow n some of them would be pretty unpleasant.. but... yeah... I want, God... ^^
Just now I called them again just to check mum's condition and to chit chat. Mum told me that she's got almost a RM1000 discount from Dr. Goh Kian Hua who did her operation, this is also the Doctor who operated Pa 2 years ago for his cyst and gave discount from his Doctor fee also. And guess what Mum told me.. Mum did a cosmetic surgery in Alor Setar, and when she arrived Kch, not knowing who else to turn to ask for help to take out the thread, she went to look for Dr. Goh. Dr. Goh did it for her. I mean, man... he's a great surgeon! I told Mum, "wah.. nyi an thai liap uu.." haha... And also, for all of Pa n Mi's eyes medication n consultation, Dr. Teo was the one who always take care of that with super cheap price... God... it's just... ah... indescribable...
This is really what Mum reaps by the seed of love, sincerety, generousity in painstakingly and self-less-ly bringing people to Kuching for their medical needs that Mum's sowed.
Oh God... I am just soo touched and in awe of your marvelous and great work in Your servants' life. God... I want to be like them... Ooopss.. I know, this will mean, there'll be a lot of seeds that You'll require me to sow n some of them would be pretty unpleasant.. but... yeah... I want, God... ^^
Mum's op was done.
Dear God... Thank You sooo much... for seeing us through in everything. Each day, I really 'bei gan dong' by Your love, mercy, and grace more and more...
Mommy's operation was over, very well and fast. I called Pa and talked to Mommy. She was very happy and was saying it was very fast and not painful at all.
She wished me "Sheng ri kuai le, cim cim cim (which means kiss kiss kiss), haha...
And God, how 'gan dong' I am, that You actually provides more than what I could think of. Not only You made everything went perfectly, You also provides company for Pa and Mi. So, Li Moy Ku and her husband also met Mi there and they went for check-up also, apparently, her husband also need to undergo some laser thingy which causes him need to be hospitalized for 1 night also. So, Pa will have company with Li Moy Ku, haha... what a divine arrangement rite?? :)
Mommy's operation was over, very well and fast. I called Pa and talked to Mommy. She was very happy and was saying it was very fast and not painful at all.
She wished me "Sheng ri kuai le, cim cim cim (which means kiss kiss kiss), haha...
And God, how 'gan dong' I am, that You actually provides more than what I could think of. Not only You made everything went perfectly, You also provides company for Pa and Mi. So, Li Moy Ku and her husband also met Mi there and they went for check-up also, apparently, her husband also need to undergo some laser thingy which causes him need to be hospitalized for 1 night also. So, Pa will have company with Li Moy Ku, haha... what a divine arrangement rite?? :)
Happy Birthday 2009 ^^
Happy Birthday, Jia Yun... :)
I love you, Jesus loves you soo much, and a lot of people around you love you soo much.
Thank You, Father... for this life that You've given, for age of 25, for all the passages that You've written... And once again I want to thank You to planned me to be born in this family, being a daughter of Pdt. Elyakim Tandy and a great mother, Ev. Law Pee Eng. What a blessing, God...
Thank You Jesus, Pa, Mi, Ko, Jie, and everybody around me who had molded and nurtured and filled my life till I become who I am today.
I want to continue to plunge myself in the surpassing greatness of Your knowledge.
Yes, thank You, JESUS!!!
Btw, this year wishes by:
1. My Dear Sis (while chatting in YM)
Then in Facebook, she wished again, "
2. Venny!!! (love u soo much...)
"Although I can't wish you a happy birthday in person, but I'll spend the whole day with happy thoughts of you. happy birthday in advance. hope your day to shine as everyday shud be"
3. Peng
4. Iswanto
"Hepi bedai 2 u.. Hepi bedai 2 u.. hepi bedai 2 julehaaaaaaa.. hepi bedai 2 u.."
(haha... ada ada jak.. very surprised..)
5. Amy HK
6. Barry
7. Joy
8. Ah Hu
"Happy Birthday. When I recover someday i'll pass u gift"
9. Maz, YP, Wati
(with bear2 n bracelet)
10. Muk
11. Brian
12. Jeevan
13. Siance
"Happy birthday! dah 25 tahun ya? wah, ga terasa dah 13 taon pertemanan kita. pasti semakin bijak, cinta Tuhan n memaknai hidup dengan kasih n Tuhan memberkatimu. btw hari ini rayain ama sapa? :) mat ultah ya, bln nov jd dtg?"
14. Rui Ping
"Happy birthday! thanks for being such a blessing to me. may e Lord bless you richly in every way n use you mightiliy for His glory.
15. Wulan
"Melalui pepohonan dan bunga di ladang, melalui ciptaan yang kecil & besar, kita melihat pemeliharaanNya yang penuh perhatian. Dia juga merancang n menciptakanmu n begitu mengasihimu. aku juga sangat mengasihimu.Zhu ni sheng ri kuai le, ing. Luph: wulan & cia2
New york skin slolution
16. Sheena
17. Pa & Mi
"Ing, selamat hari ulang tahun pa n mami sayang ing yang manis. Tuhan memberkati. GBU"
18. Janna
19. Yenny
20. Ci Henny
21. Kimmy
22. Mommy (again). (I called her after her operation ^^)
"Sheng ri kuai le.. cim cim (means kiss kiss, hehe..)"
23. Mat Ko
24. Bob
25. Cen
26. Evi
27. Tony Wong
28. Lidya Lee
29. Evian
30. Simon (Loop)
31. Wan Tien
32. Kimmy (again, this time she called me)
33. Koko
34. Ci Lia
35. Junia
36. Xiao Ming
37. Antonio
38. Winny Januarti
39. Paskalia
40. Sarwo
41. Antonius Lonyon
42. Chui Li
43. Miki
44. Cindy Poh
45. Faith Chen
And, these are some of the birthday-related moment:
16 Aug '09 - Celebrating with Agape, together with Barry (16), Yew Ling (19) and Sheena (22)
I love you, Jesus loves you soo much, and a lot of people around you love you soo much.
Thank You, Father... for this life that You've given, for age of 25, for all the passages that You've written... And once again I want to thank You to planned me to be born in this family, being a daughter of Pdt. Elyakim Tandy and a great mother, Ev. Law Pee Eng. What a blessing, God...
Thank You Jesus, Pa, Mi, Ko, Jie, and everybody around me who had molded and nurtured and filled my life till I become who I am today.
I want to continue to plunge myself in the surpassing greatness of Your knowledge.
Yes, thank You, JESUS!!!
Btw, this year wishes by:
1. My Dear Sis (while chatting in YM)
Then in Facebook, she wished again, "
2. Venny!!! (love u soo much...)
"Although I can't wish you a happy birthday in person, but I'll spend the whole day with happy thoughts of you. happy birthday in advance. hope your day to shine as everyday shud be"
3. Peng
4. Iswanto
"Hepi bedai 2 u.. Hepi bedai 2 u.. hepi bedai 2 julehaaaaaaa.. hepi bedai 2 u.."
(haha... ada ada jak.. very surprised..)
5. Amy HK
6. Barry
7. Joy
8. Ah Hu
"Happy Birthday. When I recover someday i'll pass u gift"
9. Maz, YP, Wati
(with bear2 n bracelet)
10. Muk
11. Brian
12. Jeevan
13. Siance
"Happy birthday! dah 25 tahun ya? wah, ga terasa dah 13 taon pertemanan kita. pasti semakin bijak, cinta Tuhan n memaknai hidup dengan kasih n Tuhan memberkatimu. btw hari ini rayain ama sapa? :) mat ultah ya, bln nov jd dtg?"
14. Rui Ping
"Happy birthday! thanks for being such a blessing to me. may e Lord bless you richly in every way n use you mightiliy for His glory.
15. Wulan
"Melalui pepohonan dan bunga di ladang, melalui ciptaan yang kecil & besar, kita melihat pemeliharaanNya yang penuh perhatian. Dia juga merancang n menciptakanmu n begitu mengasihimu. aku juga sangat mengasihimu.Zhu ni sheng ri kuai le, ing. Luph: wulan & cia2
New york skin slolution
16. Sheena
17. Pa & Mi
"Ing, selamat hari ulang tahun pa n mami sayang ing yang manis. Tuhan memberkati. GBU"
18. Janna
19. Yenny
20. Ci Henny
21. Kimmy
22. Mommy (again). (I called her after her operation ^^)
"Sheng ri kuai le.. cim cim (means kiss kiss, hehe..)"
23. Mat Ko
24. Bob
25. Cen
26. Evi
27. Tony Wong
28. Lidya Lee
29. Evian
30. Simon (Loop)
31. Wan Tien
32. Kimmy (again, this time she called me)
33. Koko
34. Ci Lia
35. Junia
36. Xiao Ming
37. Antonio
38. Winny Januarti
39. Paskalia
40. Sarwo
41. Antonius Lonyon
42. Chui Li
43. Miki
44. Cindy Poh
45. Faith Chen
And, these are some of the birthday-related moment:
16 Aug '09 - Celebrating with Agape, together with Barry (16), Yew Ling (19) and Sheena (22)
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Knowing God [3]
And this was what I highlighted last nite (17 Aug 09):
Page 25
'Poor souls,' our friends say of us, 'how they've suffered' - and that is just what we feel about ourselves!
But these private mock heroics have no place at all in the minds of those who really know God!
When I read the 2nd point about knowing God v.s knowing about God, "One can know a great deal about godliness (simply by the sermons, books, company, etc) without much knowledge of God", "It is just sooo ME!"
Page 27
The question is, can we say, simply, honestly, not because we feel that as evangelicals we ought to, but because it is plain matter of fact, that we have known God, and that because we have known God the unpleasantness we have had, or the pleasantness we have not had, through being Christians does not matter to us?
CAN I??? OHHH...
Page 25
'Poor souls,' our friends say of us, 'how they've suffered' - and that is just what we feel about ourselves!
But these private mock heroics have no place at all in the minds of those who really know God!
When I read the 2nd point about knowing God v.s knowing about God, "One can know a great deal about godliness (simply by the sermons, books, company, etc) without much knowledge of God", "It is just sooo ME!"
Page 27
The question is, can we say, simply, honestly, not because we feel that as evangelicals we ought to, but because it is plain matter of fact, that we have known God, and that because we have known God the unpleasantness we have had, or the pleasantness we have not had, through being Christians does not matter to us?
CAN I??? OHHH...
Knowing God [2]
Page 17
Knowing about God is crucially important for the living of our lives.
We're cruel to ourselves if we try to live in this world without knowing about the God whose world it is and who runs it. The world becomes a strange, mad, painful place, and life in it a disappointing and unpleasant business, for those who do not know about God.
*And this is very good:
On January 7th, 1855, the minister of New Park Street Chapel, Southwark, opened his morning sermon as follows:
It has been said by someone that 'the proper study of mankind is man'. I will not oppose the idea, but I believe it is equally true that
(aiyah.. to be continued...)
Knowing about God is crucially important for the living of our lives.
We're cruel to ourselves if we try to live in this world without knowing about the God whose world it is and who runs it. The world becomes a strange, mad, painful place, and life in it a disappointing and unpleasant business, for those who do not know about God.
*And this is very good:
On January 7th, 1855, the minister of New Park Street Chapel, Southwark, opened his morning sermon as follows:
It has been said by someone that 'the proper study of mankind is man'. I will not oppose the idea, but I believe it is equally true that
(aiyah.. to be continued...)
feeling better...
Thank You, God... I'm feeling better now... very OK, actually :)
Called Dad n Mum, chatted for a while. Can sense that Mum actually wished I could go also, but I'd let her know my wish that I could go if it's not because I don't have leave anymore. God, I hope I can go on Friday night with cheap ticket leh.. can? :)
I'm very proud of my self that I calmly ended the conversation by saying to mum, "Ok lah, I'll pray for you", haha...
Yeah, Jia Yun, must really learn not to so easily saddened or overwhelmed oo... so big girl already, hehe...
Thank You, my faithful God... I believe! I trust in You! You indeed have and will take perfect care of Your Servants. Thank You, dear Lord... I'm indeed so thankful that You are mindful n care for us. Help me to really grow up, in my emotion.
Called Dad n Mum, chatted for a while. Can sense that Mum actually wished I could go also, but I'd let her know my wish that I could go if it's not because I don't have leave anymore. God, I hope I can go on Friday night with cheap ticket leh.. can? :)
I'm very proud of my self that I calmly ended the conversation by saying to mum, "Ok lah, I'll pray for you", haha...
Yeah, Jia Yun, must really learn not to so easily saddened or overwhelmed oo... so big girl already, hehe...
Thank You, my faithful God... I believe! I trust in You! You indeed have and will take perfect care of Your Servants. Thank You, dear Lord... I'm indeed so thankful that You are mindful n care for us. Help me to really grow up, in my emotion.
Theme of the year (2009/2010)
So, it's tomorrow... yeah.. tomorrow is my Birthday..
While I was thinking of the theme for this year this morning, had to admit that I had failed my last year theme quite badly ("To serve and not be served"). By all the frustration in works and sharing house n room with so many different personality and lifestyle people, I think I kinda lost that joy of serving people. If I'm to assess myself, I'm afraid I have become so calculative, unsincere, and had a lot of irritated feelings. But I believe, it has got to do with my spiritual condition also. (I seek your forgiveness, oh Lord, for this past year of ungodly and unpleasing-You life.
So, I guess my this year theme will be "Knowing God". Yes, I really need to! And it's totally NOT 'knowing about God' oo... Dear, God... I really want to know You, more each day. Pls help me to understand what I read, and to really live it out in my life, and not only as a head-knowledge. I believe, yes I believe.
Jer 29:13-14a
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity."
Proverbs 8:17
"I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me."
Plus, gotta make good of my failed "To serve and not be served", too.. heiya.. so.. jia you ooo... ^^
While I was thinking of the theme for this year this morning, had to admit that I had failed my last year theme quite badly ("To serve and not be served"). By all the frustration in works and sharing house n room with so many different personality and lifestyle people, I think I kinda lost that joy of serving people. If I'm to assess myself, I'm afraid I have become so calculative, unsincere, and had a lot of irritated feelings. But I believe, it has got to do with my spiritual condition also. (I seek your forgiveness, oh Lord, for this past year of ungodly and unpleasing-You life.
So, I guess my this year theme will be "Knowing God". Yes, I really need to! And it's totally NOT 'knowing about God' oo... Dear, God... I really want to know You, more each day. Pls help me to understand what I read, and to really live it out in my life, and not only as a head-knowledge. I believe, yes I believe.
Jer 29:13-14a
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity."
Proverbs 8:17
"I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me."
Plus, gotta make good of my failed "To serve and not be served", too.. heiya.. so.. jia you ooo... ^^
Dad n Mum going for ops
Dad n Mum are going for ops. Pa for his catarac, and Mi for pile. And I can't be there :( very sad... I know, God will take the best good care of them, better than anything I can do, but just wish I could be there to accompany and care lor...
God, thank you for taking care of all of us. Pls let Pa n Mi know how I love them and wish to be with them n could take care of them.
Yes, I believe in you and trust You, our faithful n good God.. I love You, Lord...
(Really gotta apply what I've been reading in the book "Knowing God")
God, thank you for taking care of all of us. Pls let Pa n Mi know how I love them and wish to be with them n could take care of them.
Yes, I believe in you and trust You, our faithful n good God.. I love You, Lord...
(Really gotta apply what I've been reading in the book "Knowing God")
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Journey to the East :D
I wonder how many people in Singapore would do this; staying in the west already, working in the west, and still working in the west, but purposely finding a place in the east to move.. haha.. Well, many people stay in the east and work in the west (like Bren and Chee Boon) and vice versa. But it's totally a different story. They are staying in their own house, so they can't just simply move house in order to be near to their workplace, which is always temporary. But we.. (err, I, if not all of us).. I/We purposely go and find places in the East (because Central is too expensive).
Last nite, on the way back from Bedok Reservoir, the more I thought of it, the more I felt very funny and unbelievable and... kinda shameful to tell my colleagues, frens, cousins, etc, if I'm really moving (though actually, we don't have to feel embarrased, it's our freedom! haha...). Well, you know, their reaction will be things like "Whatt?? R u kidding? R u crazy? Xiao ar you? Ciak pa bo se co... bla bla bla..." hahaha... So I was telling Den n pho that if we are really moving, I'll just keep quite until the time when they find out by themselves, haha...
Anyway, before I continue with my story of last night and tonight, actually my idea of moving to East is because of this:
1. First of all, we want to move. Else, we would be comfortable enough to stay on here. Why move? First, we are not very happy with the other two housemates (especially that one). Second, Pho's mum is here, and there's no enough space here, so it actually adds up the urgency of us finding a new place.
2. Since we want to move, and since our church (me and Den), cell group and community is there in the East, and since we already have intention to change job, why not move closer to church and community and hope to get a job somewhere in Central or East?
3. By moving to East, it's much more feasible for me to join more or be involved more in Church activities and ministries. I remember very well my hesitation to decide to join Church choir (because of where I stay), though after some struggle, I decided to join (by the strong calling to serve God through the gift/talent that He has given me, and by the faith that God will take care of the rest of my needs, be it time and place to stay).
4. When guests are staying at our place, by staying at Boon Lay, it really makes us only reach home very very late after the "jalan-jalan", because of the travel distance.
5. We have breathed enough of West air (quoting from Hock Chye ^^). East air is really undeniable fresherrrr..
So... Pho, Den, Silvy and I, plus Pho's mum...
We started with a unit in Kallang. Quite like it. Owner asked for 2.2K, we requested for 1.8K, but owner could only lower to 2K, and we couldn't take it. Out... (quite disappointed)
The next day, we went to view an executive maissenate flat at Bedok Reservoir which was fabulous... A very spacious windy 2-storey nice view flat with ask price of 2K negotiable. Can you imaginee??? We (Pho, Silvy and I) were sooo tempted by it and 'xin yang yang' for the whole night. But, it's quite far. 10 minutes bus-ride to Bedok Interchange. The agent also didn't put any hope on us, knowing that 3 of us work in the west. So we kinda didn't pursue it and slowly the 'xin yang yang' died off, haha... That was about 3 or 4 weeks ago.
After that I was busy with Amy, Evian and Cindy's visit, so no house viewing for 2 weeks.
Last Saturday, Pho and I started viewing again, 2 unit at Paya Lebar. Both are 2+1+1, with 2 bedrooms and 1 utility room. Not interested at all, very small unit, quite a distance for walking to MRT stn, and still priced at 1.8K.
I started feeling tired and sick of viewing house. It is really not fun at all, especially if you reach to those small and old unit. (except the Bedok Reservoir one lor, very different feeling, haha..)
Monday (replacement of National Day Public Holiday), Pho and I started circling on newspaper again. Tuesday Deni called those circled, and made 2 viewing appointments on that night after work. Both units are at Bedok, and this time we had perfect attendance (Pho, I, Silvy, Deni - without Pho's mum)
Before going, I was praying that if any of the units are the one from God, may God give all of us the uniformity of feeling towards the house, that we will all 'like' the house.
We reached the first unit, was ok, with new aircon, but quite an old house with old furniture, and just not bright n fresh. I was so so with it, but Silvy disliked it pretty much.
Proceed to second unit, block 90. Despite of the outside which I felt a bit 'terpencil', dark, with construction going on, the inside of the house was quite nicely redone, with kinda big bedrooms. But, agent sticked to 2K. Plus it's not that we like it very much, so we decided it's a NO.
However, before that, after viewing the two units, suddenly, Silvy mentioned bout the one in Bedok Reservoir (Blk 725). My first respond was, "aiyahh.. sure taken one lah... so nice house with so good price, who don't want??" Then, after nini nana here n there a bit, while having our bak chor mee at blk 85 market, we decided to give Francis (the agent) a call. So, I called. "Hi Francis, Julia here, we viewed the unit at Bedok Reservoir Rd, remember?", and surprisingly, he remembered us very well. I continued, "is it taken already?". Even more surprisingly, "No, it's not taken yet." My eyes were opened big to show my surprise to the 3 of them. "I understood you were saying 2K negotiatable, can pls ask owner if it can be 1.8K?". Francis agreed and asked this again, "Are you guys serious? Have you carefully thought of the distance?", haha...
And... more more surprisingly, owner OK with that price, plus our request for TV and additional beds and mattrass. We were shocked, didn't know how to respond. Really, because we were actually just try try only, thinking that it's very impossible that it'll still be available.
Before calling, we had concern that Deni hasn't seen the house. And guess what, Francis offered us to view once more.. hey.. it's him to offered, we didn't ask for it, okayyy...
So, we went.. at 10pm, haha.. crazy women...
(Nevertheless, from the moment we were thinking to call Francis, I had kept on been praying in my heart)
Francis said, should be ok, but will confirm again the next day (which is today), because the husband of the owner had slept.
But it's like kinda confirmed already. On that night, I was kinda sad.. haha... it's not that I don't want to move to there lor.. I want... but just very sad, thinking of how I have to wake up so early in the morning to start work at 8am in Bukit Batok. But also hesitant to say NO.
It's on the way back (in the cab), that I felt everything was very funny, and we're a bit crazy, haha...
Today, I was too occupied by work in the office and no space n time to feel anything or to think about this matter at all. In midst of it, Deni informed that Francis told us that owner is OK with price n requests, and asking us to send him our particulars so he can do the contract. AArrggghh... how r we supposed to reply??? So we kept quiet, haha...
And, you must hear this silly thing that Pho and I did. It's my idea, though, haha...
After work, we actually took the MRT to Bedok, then bus to Bedok Reservoir, in order to try to take the express bus 506 to Jurong East, haha...
This is what I get:
Office to Clementi (Bus): $0.91 (10 mins)
Clementi to Bedok (MRT): $1.07 (36 mins)
Bedok to 'Home' (Bus): $0.69 (10 mins)
And after that, guess what... Bus 506 from 'Home' to a bus stop just before the turning to Bukit Batok St 23 only takes about 40 mins. From that bus stop, I can take 189 (1 stop) to infront of office, or just walk 10-15 mins to office. Yes, it takes longer than now, but now is 10 mins walk to MRT stn, MRT to Jurong East, change train to Bt. Batok, walk to bus interchange, wait for bus, bus to office, cross the road to reach office. Pls compare it to: take bus from in front of house, sit in the bus for 40 mins, take another bus to infront of office or just walk to office.
So for me, the result of this trial is a Haleluya, hehe... Totally a different feeling with last night.
And because Pho and Deni were still considering, I asked Francis whether it's ok if we get back to him in details on Saturday. He just said OK and will draft to us the contract thingy for us to see first. Hey... I mean, where can u find such a flexible, nice to talk, cin cai, helpful agent??? Just totally different with the rest of the agents that we met.
The more I thought of it, the more I thought it's really a grace.
God, thank You for bringing and leading us through... all the way til this stage. We still want to surrender everything into Your mighty hands, trusting You only, and not at all on ourselves. Pls show us Your way, and Your will... And help us to understand and obey. In precious Christ Name, Amen!
Last nite, on the way back from Bedok Reservoir, the more I thought of it, the more I felt very funny and unbelievable and... kinda shameful to tell my colleagues, frens, cousins, etc, if I'm really moving (though actually, we don't have to feel embarrased, it's our freedom! haha...). Well, you know, their reaction will be things like "Whatt?? R u kidding? R u crazy? Xiao ar you? Ciak pa bo se co... bla bla bla..." hahaha... So I was telling Den n pho that if we are really moving, I'll just keep quite until the time when they find out by themselves, haha...
Anyway, before I continue with my story of last night and tonight, actually my idea of moving to East is because of this:
1. First of all, we want to move. Else, we would be comfortable enough to stay on here. Why move? First, we are not very happy with the other two housemates (especially that one). Second, Pho's mum is here, and there's no enough space here, so it actually adds up the urgency of us finding a new place.
2. Since we want to move, and since our church (me and Den), cell group and community is there in the East, and since we already have intention to change job, why not move closer to church and community and hope to get a job somewhere in Central or East?
3. By moving to East, it's much more feasible for me to join more or be involved more in Church activities and ministries. I remember very well my hesitation to decide to join Church choir (because of where I stay), though after some struggle, I decided to join (by the strong calling to serve God through the gift/talent that He has given me, and by the faith that God will take care of the rest of my needs, be it time and place to stay).
4. When guests are staying at our place, by staying at Boon Lay, it really makes us only reach home very very late after the "jalan-jalan", because of the travel distance.
5. We have breathed enough of West air (quoting from Hock Chye ^^). East air is really undeniable fresherrrr..
So... Pho, Den, Silvy and I, plus Pho's mum...
We started with a unit in Kallang. Quite like it. Owner asked for 2.2K, we requested for 1.8K, but owner could only lower to 2K, and we couldn't take it. Out... (quite disappointed)
The next day, we went to view an executive maissenate flat at Bedok Reservoir which was fabulous... A very spacious windy 2-storey nice view flat with ask price of 2K negotiable. Can you imaginee??? We (Pho, Silvy and I) were sooo tempted by it and 'xin yang yang' for the whole night. But, it's quite far. 10 minutes bus-ride to Bedok Interchange. The agent also didn't put any hope on us, knowing that 3 of us work in the west. So we kinda didn't pursue it and slowly the 'xin yang yang' died off, haha... That was about 3 or 4 weeks ago.
After that I was busy with Amy, Evian and Cindy's visit, so no house viewing for 2 weeks.
Last Saturday, Pho and I started viewing again, 2 unit at Paya Lebar. Both are 2+1+1, with 2 bedrooms and 1 utility room. Not interested at all, very small unit, quite a distance for walking to MRT stn, and still priced at 1.8K.
I started feeling tired and sick of viewing house. It is really not fun at all, especially if you reach to those small and old unit. (except the Bedok Reservoir one lor, very different feeling, haha..)
Monday (replacement of National Day Public Holiday), Pho and I started circling on newspaper again. Tuesday Deni called those circled, and made 2 viewing appointments on that night after work. Both units are at Bedok, and this time we had perfect attendance (Pho, I, Silvy, Deni - without Pho's mum)
Before going, I was praying that if any of the units are the one from God, may God give all of us the uniformity of feeling towards the house, that we will all 'like' the house.
We reached the first unit, was ok, with new aircon, but quite an old house with old furniture, and just not bright n fresh. I was so so with it, but Silvy disliked it pretty much.
Proceed to second unit, block 90. Despite of the outside which I felt a bit 'terpencil', dark, with construction going on, the inside of the house was quite nicely redone, with kinda big bedrooms. But, agent sticked to 2K. Plus it's not that we like it very much, so we decided it's a NO.
However, before that, after viewing the two units, suddenly, Silvy mentioned bout the one in Bedok Reservoir (Blk 725). My first respond was, "aiyahh.. sure taken one lah... so nice house with so good price, who don't want??" Then, after nini nana here n there a bit, while having our bak chor mee at blk 85 market, we decided to give Francis (the agent) a call. So, I called. "Hi Francis, Julia here, we viewed the unit at Bedok Reservoir Rd, remember?", and surprisingly, he remembered us very well. I continued, "is it taken already?". Even more surprisingly, "No, it's not taken yet." My eyes were opened big to show my surprise to the 3 of them. "I understood you were saying 2K negotiatable, can pls ask owner if it can be 1.8K?". Francis agreed and asked this again, "Are you guys serious? Have you carefully thought of the distance?", haha...
And... more more surprisingly, owner OK with that price, plus our request for TV and additional beds and mattrass. We were shocked, didn't know how to respond. Really, because we were actually just try try only, thinking that it's very impossible that it'll still be available.
Before calling, we had concern that Deni hasn't seen the house. And guess what, Francis offered us to view once more.. hey.. it's him to offered, we didn't ask for it, okayyy...
So, we went.. at 10pm, haha.. crazy women...
(Nevertheless, from the moment we were thinking to call Francis, I had kept on been praying in my heart)
Francis said, should be ok, but will confirm again the next day (which is today), because the husband of the owner had slept.
But it's like kinda confirmed already. On that night, I was kinda sad.. haha... it's not that I don't want to move to there lor.. I want... but just very sad, thinking of how I have to wake up so early in the morning to start work at 8am in Bukit Batok. But also hesitant to say NO.
It's on the way back (in the cab), that I felt everything was very funny, and we're a bit crazy, haha...
Today, I was too occupied by work in the office and no space n time to feel anything or to think about this matter at all. In midst of it, Deni informed that Francis told us that owner is OK with price n requests, and asking us to send him our particulars so he can do the contract. AArrggghh... how r we supposed to reply??? So we kept quiet, haha...
And, you must hear this silly thing that Pho and I did. It's my idea, though, haha...
After work, we actually took the MRT to Bedok, then bus to Bedok Reservoir, in order to try to take the express bus 506 to Jurong East, haha...
This is what I get:
Office to Clementi (Bus): $0.91 (10 mins)
Clementi to Bedok (MRT): $1.07 (36 mins)
Bedok to 'Home' (Bus): $0.69 (10 mins)
And after that, guess what... Bus 506 from 'Home' to a bus stop just before the turning to Bukit Batok St 23 only takes about 40 mins. From that bus stop, I can take 189 (1 stop) to infront of office, or just walk 10-15 mins to office. Yes, it takes longer than now, but now is 10 mins walk to MRT stn, MRT to Jurong East, change train to Bt. Batok, walk to bus interchange, wait for bus, bus to office, cross the road to reach office. Pls compare it to: take bus from in front of house, sit in the bus for 40 mins, take another bus to infront of office or just walk to office.
So for me, the result of this trial is a Haleluya, hehe... Totally a different feeling with last night.
And because Pho and Deni were still considering, I asked Francis whether it's ok if we get back to him in details on Saturday. He just said OK and will draft to us the contract thingy for us to see first. Hey... I mean, where can u find such a flexible, nice to talk, cin cai, helpful agent??? Just totally different with the rest of the agents that we met.
The more I thought of it, the more I thought it's really a grace.
God, thank You for bringing and leading us through... all the way til this stage. We still want to surrender everything into Your mighty hands, trusting You only, and not at all on ourselves. Pls show us Your way, and Your will... And help us to understand and obey. In precious Christ Name, Amen!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Knowing God [1]
Was introduced by Chee Boon (my DTC teacher) this book, was lent by him this book of his precious and very classic edition actually. Started reading it 2 weeks ago, very very touched and relevant, since I call my current spiritual life stage as the stage of "Knowing God", so decided to buy one copy so I can take my time reading and highlighting them while reading. Plus, bit pressured reading Chee Boon's very classic n precious copy, scared of tearing them accidentally, haha... Btw, I stopped reading because busy with Amy, Evian and Cindy's visit. Today is public holiday (replacement of National Day). So started reading again last night and today... Gonna record down those phrase that struck me the best :)
God... I want to know You...
Caution: Yun, know your purpose of reading this!
Page 20:
For this very reason we need, before we start to ascend our mountain, to stop and ask ourselves a very fundamental question - a question, indeed, that we always ought to put to ourselves whenever we embark on any line of study in God's holy book. The question concerns our own motives and intentions as students. We need to ask ourselves: what is my ultimate aim and object in occupying my mind with these things? What do I intend to do with my knowledge about God, once I have got it? For the fact that we have to face is this: that if we pursue theological knowledge for its own sake, it is bound to go bad on us. It will make us proud and conceited. The very greatness of the subject-matter will intoxicate us, and we shall come to think of ourselves a a cut above other Christians because of our interest in it and grasp of it; and we shall look down on those wholse theological ideas seem to us crude and inadequate, and dismiss them as very poor specimens. For, as Paul told the conceited Corinthians, 'knowledge puffs up ... the man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know' (1 Cor 8:1). To be preoccupied with getting theological knowledge as an end in itself, to approach Bible study with no higher a motive than a desire to know all the answers, is the direct route to a state of self-satisfied self-deception. We need to guard our hearts against such an attitude, and pray to be kept from it. As we saw ealier, there can be no spiritual health without doctrinal knowledge; but it is equally true that there can be no spiritual health with it, if it is sought for the wrong purpose and valued by the wrong standard. In this way, doctrinal study really can become a danger to spiritual life, and we today, no less than the Corinthians of old, need to be on our guard here.
So, this is extremely a good start to reading this book. After reading this paragraph, I really paused and 'beng kui' before God's foot to commit my purpose of reading this book, of 'Knowing about Him', of knowing His Word.
And, this is what I desire:
In order to know You better, personally, so as to love You better, serve You better, live my (Christian) life better, delight in You, and that my heart may respond to it and my life be conformed to it.
Ok, continue.. this is from page 21:
And this must be our attitude too. Our aim in studying the Godhead must be to know God himself better. Our concern must be to enlarge our acquaintance, not simply with the doctrine of God's attributes, but with the living God whose attributes they are. As he is the subject of our study, and our helper in it, so He must Himself the the end of it. We must seek, in studying God, to be led to God. It was for this purpose that revelation was given, and it is to this use that we must put it.
Title: Knowing God
Author: J.I. Packer
First edition 1973
My copy: 2005 edition
YES!! God... keep me safe from all the distraction and possibility of forgetting my ultimate purpose of knowing You... Lead me to You, and You only, Lord...
God... I want to know You...
Caution: Yun, know your purpose of reading this!
Page 20:
For this very reason we need, before we start to ascend our mountain, to stop and ask ourselves a very fundamental question - a question, indeed, that we always ought to put to ourselves whenever we embark on any line of study in God's holy book. The question concerns our own motives and intentions as students. We need to ask ourselves: what is my ultimate aim and object in occupying my mind with these things? What do I intend to do with my knowledge about God, once I have got it? For the fact that we have to face is this: that if we pursue theological knowledge for its own sake, it is bound to go bad on us. It will make us proud and conceited. The very greatness of the subject-matter will intoxicate us, and we shall come to think of ourselves a a cut above other Christians because of our interest in it and grasp of it; and we shall look down on those wholse theological ideas seem to us crude and inadequate, and dismiss them as very poor specimens. For, as Paul told the conceited Corinthians, 'knowledge puffs up ... the man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know' (1 Cor 8:1). To be preoccupied with getting theological knowledge as an end in itself, to approach Bible study with no higher a motive than a desire to know all the answers, is the direct route to a state of self-satisfied self-deception. We need to guard our hearts against such an attitude, and pray to be kept from it. As we saw ealier, there can be no spiritual health without doctrinal knowledge; but it is equally true that there can be no spiritual health with it, if it is sought for the wrong purpose and valued by the wrong standard. In this way, doctrinal study really can become a danger to spiritual life, and we today, no less than the Corinthians of old, need to be on our guard here.
So, this is extremely a good start to reading this book. After reading this paragraph, I really paused and 'beng kui' before God's foot to commit my purpose of reading this book, of 'Knowing about Him', of knowing His Word.
And, this is what I desire:
In order to know You better, personally, so as to love You better, serve You better, live my (Christian) life better, delight in You, and that my heart may respond to it and my life be conformed to it.
Ok, continue.. this is from page 21:
And this must be our attitude too. Our aim in studying the Godhead must be to know God himself better. Our concern must be to enlarge our acquaintance, not simply with the doctrine of God's attributes, but with the living God whose attributes they are. As he is the subject of our study, and our helper in it, so He must Himself the the end of it. We must seek, in studying God, to be led to God. It was for this purpose that revelation was given, and it is to this use that we must put it.
Title: Knowing God
Author: J.I. Packer
First edition 1973
My copy: 2005 edition
YES!! God... keep me safe from all the distraction and possibility of forgetting my ultimate purpose of knowing You... Lead me to You, and You only, Lord...
Saturday, August 8, 2009
all by myself...
Today I woke up late... actually just purposely woke up naturally, without alarm..
Then did my bunch of laundry (haven't washed for 2 weeks, due to visitors), watched TV, ate brunch..
Then went to Jurong Point: post Cindy's photo n left behind stuff, went to UOB to get a queue number for account opening, while waiting went to NTUC to buy honey, to Body Shop to update my NRIC, to POSB to update NRIC and to update bank book, to nubox to explore out macbook pro. Then was called by UOB, so went up to open the account. It's good! To have few things done... but.. it's "all by myself...".. very lonely...
Came home, transfer rental to ci Yatty, then went to Paya Lebar with Pho to view house. Not very interesting with the house.
Otw back, in MRT, gave up the seat to an old uncle, i believe he's in Pa's age. His hair and the way he dress is like Pa too. It made me think of Pa. Seeing him being alone made me feel so sad also that Pa's alone back there.. I miss Pa...
Just dunno why is it still so difficult for me to get away from this bad feeling of being away from home.. after so many years.. so many different places.. God.. if it's better for me not to be here, but to be back there, pls do let me know, and show me how..
Anyway... I know I'm not alone... You're with me, God... There are too many things that only You know... my 'xin tiao'...
Then did my bunch of laundry (haven't washed for 2 weeks, due to visitors), watched TV, ate brunch..
Then went to Jurong Point: post Cindy's photo n left behind stuff, went to UOB to get a queue number for account opening, while waiting went to NTUC to buy honey, to Body Shop to update my NRIC, to POSB to update NRIC and to update bank book, to nubox to explore out macbook pro. Then was called by UOB, so went up to open the account. It's good! To have few things done... but.. it's "all by myself...".. very lonely...
Came home, transfer rental to ci Yatty, then went to Paya Lebar with Pho to view house. Not very interesting with the house.
Otw back, in MRT, gave up the seat to an old uncle, i believe he's in Pa's age. His hair and the way he dress is like Pa too. It made me think of Pa. Seeing him being alone made me feel so sad also that Pa's alone back there.. I miss Pa...
Just dunno why is it still so difficult for me to get away from this bad feeling of being away from home.. after so many years.. so many different places.. God.. if it's better for me not to be here, but to be back there, pls do let me know, and show me how..
Anyway... I know I'm not alone... You're with me, God... There are too many things that only You know... my 'xin tiao'...
Friday, August 7, 2009
What can I do for God?
So, this song had actually spoken to me once, when I was listening to it in office...
But after that I forgot.. Until... That day of SOP last event at BBTC.. I was so happy to be reminded of this thought / inspiration that God'd given me :)
My Christian life has always been the kind full of activities, ministries, etc.. So, now, when I'm in the stage of not having any 'ministry', I felt very ... (hmm.. may be not used to it? guilty? uneasy lah...). Have been feeling that eversince coming to Singapore.
But recently, I have this thought, what is that all for, if I have no love for God? if I don't know Him? and I really deeply understood that knowing Him, that's also what I can do for Him. And when I listened to this song, it was reassured to me again that yes, love Him more (personally), that's one of what I can do for Him.
So, conclusion, what can I do for God? Love Him! Know Him!
(And this is also so "in line / relevant" with my current stage of spiritual life: Knowing God!)
Thank You, Father... How precious to me are your thoughts, are the way you inspired me and gave me understanding and enlightenment.
But after that I forgot.. Until... That day of SOP last event at BBTC.. I was so happy to be reminded of this thought / inspiration that God'd given me :)
My Christian life has always been the kind full of activities, ministries, etc.. So, now, when I'm in the stage of not having any 'ministry', I felt very ... (hmm.. may be not used to it? guilty? uneasy lah...). Have been feeling that eversince coming to Singapore.
But recently, I have this thought, what is that all for, if I have no love for God? if I don't know Him? and I really deeply understood that knowing Him, that's also what I can do for Him. And when I listened to this song, it was reassured to me again that yes, love Him more (personally), that's one of what I can do for Him.
So, conclusion, what can I do for God? Love Him! Know Him!
(And this is also so "in line / relevant" with my current stage of spiritual life: Knowing God!)
Thank You, Father... How precious to me are your thoughts, are the way you inspired me and gave me understanding and enlightenment.
When birthday is coming soon...
Yesterday, while walking home, suddenly felt so sad n blue. Birthday is coming soon. 25 years old already, just a few more blinks of eyes to reach 30.
"What have I done???" and "What am I doing now???"
Nothing, except sustaining live.
Ooohh... Noo... It's not supposed to be just this!!! :((
Still single, parents are yet to 'fang xin'... 'n still can't accept the fact and dunno why I have to be living far from my family.
Father... yes, I know You've been giving me all the best and those blessings in my life, and I am so thankful of my life, being born in this family, being in my communities from time to time, the churches, the workplaces, the countries, etc... But, I just feel very guilty, useless, destine-less... Still lost n not knowing where I'm supposed to be, but I want to trust in You, Lord... Yes, trust in You!
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
(Psalm 139:23)
"What have I done???" and "What am I doing now???"
Nothing, except sustaining live.
Ooohh... Noo... It's not supposed to be just this!!! :((
Still single, parents are yet to 'fang xin'... 'n still can't accept the fact and dunno why I have to be living far from my family.
Father... yes, I know You've been giving me all the best and those blessings in my life, and I am so thankful of my life, being born in this family, being in my communities from time to time, the churches, the workplaces, the countries, etc... But, I just feel very guilty, useless, destine-less... Still lost n not knowing where I'm supposed to be, but I want to trust in You, Lord... Yes, trust in You!
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
(Psalm 139:23)
Amy, Evian and Cindy visit
30 July - 03 Aug 2009
Just a little bit of background. Amy, Evian, Cindy and I, we actually knew each other through the long closed down SOP BBS forum. Since, we still kept in touch via email n messenger once in a while. Amy and Evian the Hongkies, Cindy the Malaysian, and I the Indonesian. Never expected that we would actually meet face to face :)
Last year, Cindy came to attend SOP event and stayed in my room. That's how we for the first time met face to face.
This year, Cindy and I cancelled our plan of going to HK for SOP Asia Tour this year. Instead, we asked Amy why not she come, and she really considered that. Not only that, when I asked her to ask Evian whether she wanted to join, Evian also considered.. what a 'wow'!
And... it really happened. They came!
And I didn't expect that I would enjoy and had as much fun as I did. It had really become a wonderful memory for me. Started with the preparation of their itenary, the excitements, etc... and all the fun n laughter that they brought in our midst. I really thank God for them and for that days. They really brightened up my days. And how God lead all our activities, gave us good weather, and especially this amazing n unique friendship, really made me 'gan dong' (terharu). Thank You, Father... for such a sweet n wonderful melody that You've added up into this song of my life...
And here's some of the moments:
(Photo session)
Just a little bit of background. Amy, Evian, Cindy and I, we actually knew each other through the long closed down SOP BBS forum. Since, we still kept in touch via email n messenger once in a while. Amy and Evian the Hongkies, Cindy the Malaysian, and I the Indonesian. Never expected that we would actually meet face to face :)
Last year, Cindy came to attend SOP event and stayed in my room. That's how we for the first time met face to face.
This year, Cindy and I cancelled our plan of going to HK for SOP Asia Tour this year. Instead, we asked Amy why not she come, and she really considered that. Not only that, when I asked her to ask Evian whether she wanted to join, Evian also considered.. what a 'wow'!
And... it really happened. They came!
And I didn't expect that I would enjoy and had as much fun as I did. It had really become a wonderful memory for me. Started with the preparation of their itenary, the excitements, etc... and all the fun n laughter that they brought in our midst. I really thank God for them and for that days. They really brightened up my days. And how God lead all our activities, gave us good weather, and especially this amazing n unique friendship, really made me 'gan dong' (terharu). Thank You, Father... for such a sweet n wonderful melody that You've added up into this song of my life...
And here's some of the moments:
(Photo session)
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