I want...

Single-Minded (Part 2)

God's not demanding. He doesn't want to take from us, He wants to give to us. But when our hands are cluttering so many things that clutter our lives, He cannot give.

So, I surrender all, God...

Detoxify my soul

Single-hearted pursuit of the things of God

My heart to be completely Yours...

Single-Minded

I was listening to Edmun Chan's sermon "Single Minded" on my way back home yesterday. So I was very convicted that I've been in that category of a double-minded Christian. Somehow, on fire for God, but double-minded; simply want God but also any other things.

And having realizing this, I guess my greatest need of life in my this point of life is: To be a single-minded christian, to focus on and pursuing that of the things of the Kingdom of God, things that really matter. Only then, my whole life will be changed. Direction will be there, excitement will be there, passion will be there. Forgive me, Lord, for my double-mindedness all these while, and please help me to train my eyes to focus on You and Your things only.

Matthew 622
"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

In it's original language, it's actually "if your eyes are single" (which is stated in KJV).

Another quote that I got from e sermon was:
"Not to have is alright, because I'd rather have it in God's time" [Edmund Chan]

Excited to listen to the next half of the sermon later on the way going home again...
Speak to me, Lord...

My heart

I sometimes like to type my post in a notepad first then copy and paste it to the blog. And just now when I was clearing my 'private' folder in office computer suddenly I found this post that I forgot to post, haha.. I think it was typed on 2 Oct 09.

Dunno why but today I'm really soo overwhelmed by all that's going on in the world recently... the disaster after disaster... Taiwan, Phillipines, Vietnam, Cambodia and especially now, Padang, Indonesia.It's even very hard for me to concentrate on my work today, and feeling soo down.
This time, not only my heart hurts seeing those who suffer, especially the children who lost everything everyone, stood on the road, surrounded by the ruins, under the rain not knowing what to do where to go, but also my heart is troubled. Troubled of the fact that it is so near already.
During the last sessions of DTC class, we had been talking about sharing the gospel, and we are 'required' to intentionally share gospel with at least 2 people before graduating from the course. High Quest is also about sharing the Gospel. And, CBTL is about the second coming of the Lord as King. These all are really wrapped up by the disasters that happen in one month. I guess this is the first time I felt such a strong feeling of urgency to chuan fu ying and feeling very helpless. I even thought if I should stop all my self-achievement aiming, stop working, to fully serve the Lord, helping people, bringing people to Christ.Acchh... if only I have enough courage to decide so..
But anyway, God.. pls do not let this compassion dim and help me know and obey whatever we can do for now.

Come Bless the Lord (CBTL) 2009 - The Kingship of Christ

Last year I attended the CBTL as a very new comer in BBTC :)
And this year, I'll be joining the choir on stage ^^

This afternoon, we had our 2nd practise, after 2nd service, 2pm-5pm. Yayy... I have ministry-activity (kesibukan) again ;) Thank You, God...

So, Jessie, our Worship Pastor gathered everyone for a message and words of encouragement for a start. The theme this year is about the 2nd coming of Christ as a King who come. Jessie shared that once she was asked by someone, "How much do you believe in the 2nd coming of the Lord?", and so she passed this question on to all of us. When I asked myself, I said, "I believe". But wait... I asked, "But how much are you looking forward to it?", to this I'll say, "I am yet to be excited about it and looking forward to it". I guess, perhaps it's partly because I haven't really been able to 'see' that glorious and "woww..." scene, and partly also because if it happens now at this moment, I don't think I'll be that person who receives any reward, simply because I haven't done anything for Him on the earth. So, the message really stirred me. Before I can sing with a heart of excitement on the 2nd coming of the Lord, my heart really need to be touched by God and His truth. So, as I'll be reading the book of Revelation, Daniel and Joel (as 'instructed' by Jessie), I ask of You oh Lord, the one who revealed to John in the Patmos those days, to open the eyes of my heart n my spirit, to receive a revelation from You, and I'll be able to 'see' the days, that the end times is here, that we're running out of time to save as many souls as possible, before I face You in that new Jerusalem.

Another sentence that captivate my heart:

But the king replied to Araunah, "No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing." [2 Samuel 24:24]

Yes, God... You deserve my all of all in my service to You. May it be pleasing to You, God...

Btw, I enjoyed the practise pretty much this afternoon ^^

Be serious!

I really think that I need to be more serious in being a Christian; a disciple, a follower and a servant of Christ.
Last nite while taking shower, I suddenly felt that I've been too "cin cai" in being one, that I've been too easy to myself, letting my emotion and will swing my spiritual life up and down. Up when it's up itself and letting it be down when it's down.

No! The grace that I've received is not a cheap grace that can be taken for granted! Now I think, "cincai-ism" is absolutely unacceptable in being a 'real Christian' (which is = Christ's follower, disciple and servant).

"Oh God, forgive me for having been so 'cincai' in living for You". Yes, by the grace of God, I really gotta be more seriously and wholeheartedly:

- seeking Him (and to know Him) and His will in my life,
- living in righteousness and holiness,
- devoting myself unto Him,
- equipping myself to effectively minister to others (evangelism or building up),
- praying my prayer items,
- seeking Him for my life direction and calling in this 'desert' season,
- treating and always being well-prepared in all ministry He's trusted me with (including singing in choir).

I should not waste anymore of my days by letting them pass without being a 'Christian' on that day.

Yes, God is merciful, but I wanna choose not to 'cincai-ly' and 'suibian-ly' live this life for Him, simply because this grace and mercy do not deserve any other thing than a total and full affection, devotion and submission of its recipient.

God, you are my Master, my Lord, the Centre of my life. May this be a kick-off of my 'serious' journey in You. Walk with me, 'coz I need You...

-

真實的悔改

Feeling very discouraged and down n tired ministering to Lydia. Sometimes I just feel she's just way too sensitive and self-centered and tend to misunderstand my care / 'hao yi' towards her.
But I kept telling myself that I will persevere.. I will love her, care for her..

And, suddenly, when the intro of this song "真實的悔改" started, a thought came in my mind:
I cannot blame her for this. Instead, I should ask myself these questions: "Have you prayed enough? Have you been 'puo qie' enough before God? Have I really xian shang wo zhi ji? Have I really put enough effort? Have I really been obedience?"

Yes God... I want to 'Zhen shi de hui gai'. I pray that You'll bless all the seed that I'll learn to sow and turn them into fruits for Your kingdom... Yes, I long to see..

He Could Have Called Ten Thousand Angels

Corporate world

"Corporate world is not my place", yes, I'm starting to feel it again..
But God.. confirmation, God...

'Craving' for being a volunteer - "Good Work"

Last night watched "Star for a Cause". This time is Michelle Chia joining a group of volunteer from Eden Foundation from Taiwan, serving in a small and very poor village in Philipines, Himaco. From the name, I was pretty sure that it's a christian foundation. So this morning, I tried to check out their website, and yes, it is! In fact, it's Liu Hsia's foundation. For me, Liu Hsia is not of a stranger, knew about her through Heavenly Melody, when they produced the song/album "Ba Ai Liu Xia" which lyric is written by Liu Hsia.

So, I really 'craving' for being a volunteer, if possible, a Christian-mission-driven oversea short term voluntarily work, so it's not only doing good, but also bringing Christ's love. I hope it's not just an emotional force. Well, I don't think it is, because I have always been desiring to be able to be a volunteer or go for a mission trip. And recently, it's really not only based on feeling anymore, but I know for sure that I am created, saved, and being a Christian, to partner with God to do good works, and through that, to let the world know that I am a disciple of God, and to share Christ's love for them.

Some bible basis:

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Colossians 1:10
And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,

2 Timothy 2:21
If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.

2 Timothy 3:17
so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Hebrews 13:21
equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

And see this promise.. wow..
2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Yes, Zhu, wo yao...

While typing this, my mind was directed to a series of sermon of "Financial Freedom" by SP Dan Foo that touched mostly on sowing, sowing and sowing generously. And yes, I truly think that it has got to do with generousity. So here's the wonderful verse of promise in the bible: 2 Corinthians 9

In term of this, I learned and was confirmed pretty much by the teachings in BBTC also, esp. SP Dan Foo. Yeah, I come to realize more and more that BBTC has really blessed me much in term of "making - the things that I know and have been knowing all these while - make sense, being confirmed, affirmed, and into application."

Only because He's worthy!

Next week is the commencement of the "Blessing Campaign" of BBTC.
During that Sunday service worship, this song ministered so much to me, encourage me, urge me, and caused my spirit to be so lifted up n full of desire to give and live my life for God as I take part in this "Blessing Campaign", blessing as many people as I can. I was so inspired to start living proactively, blessing others in tangible ways. (And I got an idea to make cards with my name n phone number on it to be given away to everyone who I bless, so anytime, they can contact me again to know more about Jesus... Jesus, I submit this plan n desire of mine into your mighty hands)
Especially when we reach the "Worthy" part, I was so deeply convicted that all that I'm gonna do in serving Him, it's for none other reason, but bcause He's worthy... Yes, He's worthy!

"Alabaster Jar"
(By Zach Neese)
Intro:
G D/F# Em C
Verse 1:
G
This alabaster jar
D/F#
is all I have of worth
Em7
I break it at Your feet, Lord
C
It's less than You deserve
G
You're far more beautiful
D/F#
More precious than the oil
Em7
The sum of my desires
C
and the fullness of my joy!
PreChorus:
Em7
Like You spilled Your blood,
C Em7
I spill my heart as an offering
D
to my King
Chorus:
G D/F#
Here I am, take me
Em7 C
As an offering
G D/F# Em7
Here I am, giving every heartbeat
C G
For Your glory take me
Verse 2:
The time that I have left
is all I have of worth
I lay it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
And though I've little strength
And though my days are few,
You gave Your life for me
So, I will live my life for You
Bridge:
G
Worthy, Worthy
D
You are worthy
Em7 C
Worthy is the Lord (repeat as desired) (sing simultaenous with Chorus)

Pa... Mi... I Miss You!

Mon, 20 April 09 10pm

Pa... Mi... I miss you so much...
I wish I could see you everyday... I wish I could be with you and take care of you everyday... I wish... I wish... I wish... And I really want it!!!

The more I think, the more I'm saddened... About 10 more years, Pa will be in his 80s. Say during this period, I go home once a year, I'll only see them 10 times during that 10 years. And I deeply surely know very well, 10 years pass very very fast... No!!! I can't let that happen... God... I don't wanttt!!! God... can u please open a way for me???

(I cried badly while taking shower just now) I want to see Pa and mi everyday... I want to stay with them... I want to see them everytime I come back from work. But how???

Passion...

So, I still want to achieve these (for my personal spiritual life):

1. Every morning, the first thing I do is to get down on my knees and pray for my loved ones (learnt this from Bro. Chi Ren)
2. To do my quiet time in the morning

And wanna do these:
1. Compile Duane's notes
2. Save n compile GoodTV YT and make available for Mum & Dad to use in their ministry. If possible, subtitle to Indonesian
3. Translate many notes to do re mi

And these... (to be started soonest possible):
1. Piano (music)
2. Mandarin (read & write)

God... need You... "Wo kao zhi na jia gei wo li liang de, fan shi dou neng zuo"

One Pure and Holy Passion
Watermark (The Road to One Day Live)
(Capo 2)

G D Em D
Give me one pure and holy passion
C G Am7 D
Give me one magnificent obsession
G D Em D
Give me one glorious ambition for me life
C G/B G/A G D
To know an follow hard after you.
(repeat)

(Chorus)
G D C
To know and follow hard after you
G D C
To grow as your disciple in the truth
Em D
This world empty, pail, and poor
Em D
Compared to knowing you my Lord
C D Em
Lead me on and I will run after you
C D G
Lead me on and I will run after you