So, it's tomorrow... yeah.. tomorrow is my Birthday..
While I was thinking of the theme for this year this morning, had to admit that I had failed my last year theme quite badly ("To serve and not be served"). By all the frustration in works and sharing house n room with so many different personality and lifestyle people, I think I kinda lost that joy of serving people. If I'm to assess myself, I'm afraid I have become so calculative, unsincere, and had a lot of irritated feelings. But I believe, it has got to do with my spiritual condition also. (I seek your forgiveness, oh Lord, for this past year of ungodly and unpleasing-You life.
So, I guess my this year theme will be "Knowing God". Yes, I really need to! And it's totally NOT 'knowing about God' oo... Dear, God... I really want to know You, more each day. Pls help me to understand what I read, and to really live it out in my life, and not only as a head-knowledge. I believe, yes I believe.
Jer 29:13-14a
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity."
Proverbs 8:17
"I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me."
Plus, gotta make good of my failed "To serve and not be served", too.. heiya.. so.. jia you ooo... ^^
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Dad n Mum going for ops
Dad n Mum are going for ops. Pa for his catarac, and Mi for pile. And I can't be there :( very sad... I know, God will take the best good care of them, better than anything I can do, but just wish I could be there to accompany and care lor...
God, thank you for taking care of all of us. Pls let Pa n Mi know how I love them and wish to be with them n could take care of them.
Yes, I believe in you and trust You, our faithful n good God.. I love You, Lord...
(Really gotta apply what I've been reading in the book "Knowing God")
God, thank you for taking care of all of us. Pls let Pa n Mi know how I love them and wish to be with them n could take care of them.
Yes, I believe in you and trust You, our faithful n good God.. I love You, Lord...
(Really gotta apply what I've been reading in the book "Knowing God")
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Journey to the East :D
I wonder how many people in Singapore would do this; staying in the west already, working in the west, and still working in the west, but purposely finding a place in the east to move.. haha.. Well, many people stay in the east and work in the west (like Bren and Chee Boon) and vice versa. But it's totally a different story. They are staying in their own house, so they can't just simply move house in order to be near to their workplace, which is always temporary. But we.. (err, I, if not all of us).. I/We purposely go and find places in the East (because Central is too expensive).
Last nite, on the way back from Bedok Reservoir, the more I thought of it, the more I felt very funny and unbelievable and... kinda shameful to tell my colleagues, frens, cousins, etc, if I'm really moving (though actually, we don't have to feel embarrased, it's our freedom! haha...). Well, you know, their reaction will be things like "Whatt?? R u kidding? R u crazy? Xiao ar you? Ciak pa bo se co... bla bla bla..." hahaha... So I was telling Den n pho that if we are really moving, I'll just keep quite until the time when they find out by themselves, haha...
Anyway, before I continue with my story of last night and tonight, actually my idea of moving to East is because of this:
1. First of all, we want to move. Else, we would be comfortable enough to stay on here. Why move? First, we are not very happy with the other two housemates (especially that one). Second, Pho's mum is here, and there's no enough space here, so it actually adds up the urgency of us finding a new place.
2. Since we want to move, and since our church (me and Den), cell group and community is there in the East, and since we already have intention to change job, why not move closer to church and community and hope to get a job somewhere in Central or East?
3. By moving to East, it's much more feasible for me to join more or be involved more in Church activities and ministries. I remember very well my hesitation to decide to join Church choir (because of where I stay), though after some struggle, I decided to join (by the strong calling to serve God through the gift/talent that He has given me, and by the faith that God will take care of the rest of my needs, be it time and place to stay).
4. When guests are staying at our place, by staying at Boon Lay, it really makes us only reach home very very late after the "jalan-jalan", because of the travel distance.
5. We have breathed enough of West air (quoting from Hock Chye ^^). East air is really undeniable fresherrrr..
So... Pho, Den, Silvy and I, plus Pho's mum...
We started with a unit in Kallang. Quite like it. Owner asked for 2.2K, we requested for 1.8K, but owner could only lower to 2K, and we couldn't take it. Out... (quite disappointed)
The next day, we went to view an executive maissenate flat at Bedok Reservoir which was fabulous... A very spacious windy 2-storey nice view flat with ask price of 2K negotiable. Can you imaginee??? We (Pho, Silvy and I) were sooo tempted by it and 'xin yang yang' for the whole night. But, it's quite far. 10 minutes bus-ride to Bedok Interchange. The agent also didn't put any hope on us, knowing that 3 of us work in the west. So we kinda didn't pursue it and slowly the 'xin yang yang' died off, haha... That was about 3 or 4 weeks ago.
After that I was busy with Amy, Evian and Cindy's visit, so no house viewing for 2 weeks.
Last Saturday, Pho and I started viewing again, 2 unit at Paya Lebar. Both are 2+1+1, with 2 bedrooms and 1 utility room. Not interested at all, very small unit, quite a distance for walking to MRT stn, and still priced at 1.8K.
I started feeling tired and sick of viewing house. It is really not fun at all, especially if you reach to those small and old unit. (except the Bedok Reservoir one lor, very different feeling, haha..)
Monday (replacement of National Day Public Holiday), Pho and I started circling on newspaper again. Tuesday Deni called those circled, and made 2 viewing appointments on that night after work. Both units are at Bedok, and this time we had perfect attendance (Pho, I, Silvy, Deni - without Pho's mum)
Before going, I was praying that if any of the units are the one from God, may God give all of us the uniformity of feeling towards the house, that we will all 'like' the house.
We reached the first unit, was ok, with new aircon, but quite an old house with old furniture, and just not bright n fresh. I was so so with it, but Silvy disliked it pretty much.
Proceed to second unit, block 90. Despite of the outside which I felt a bit 'terpencil', dark, with construction going on, the inside of the house was quite nicely redone, with kinda big bedrooms. But, agent sticked to 2K. Plus it's not that we like it very much, so we decided it's a NO.
However, before that, after viewing the two units, suddenly, Silvy mentioned bout the one in Bedok Reservoir (Blk 725). My first respond was, "aiyahh.. sure taken one lah... so nice house with so good price, who don't want??" Then, after nini nana here n there a bit, while having our bak chor mee at blk 85 market, we decided to give Francis (the agent) a call. So, I called. "Hi Francis, Julia here, we viewed the unit at Bedok Reservoir Rd, remember?", and surprisingly, he remembered us very well. I continued, "is it taken already?". Even more surprisingly, "No, it's not taken yet." My eyes were opened big to show my surprise to the 3 of them. "I understood you were saying 2K negotiatable, can pls ask owner if it can be 1.8K?". Francis agreed and asked this again, "Are you guys serious? Have you carefully thought of the distance?", haha...
And... more more surprisingly, owner OK with that price, plus our request for TV and additional beds and mattrass. We were shocked, didn't know how to respond. Really, because we were actually just try try only, thinking that it's very impossible that it'll still be available.
Before calling, we had concern that Deni hasn't seen the house. And guess what, Francis offered us to view once more.. hey.. it's him to offered, we didn't ask for it, okayyy...
So, we went.. at 10pm, haha.. crazy women...
(Nevertheless, from the moment we were thinking to call Francis, I had kept on been praying in my heart)
Francis said, should be ok, but will confirm again the next day (which is today), because the husband of the owner had slept.
But it's like kinda confirmed already. On that night, I was kinda sad.. haha... it's not that I don't want to move to there lor.. I want... but just very sad, thinking of how I have to wake up so early in the morning to start work at 8am in Bukit Batok. But also hesitant to say NO.
It's on the way back (in the cab), that I felt everything was very funny, and we're a bit crazy, haha...
Today, I was too occupied by work in the office and no space n time to feel anything or to think about this matter at all. In midst of it, Deni informed that Francis told us that owner is OK with price n requests, and asking us to send him our particulars so he can do the contract. AArrggghh... how r we supposed to reply??? So we kept quiet, haha...
And, you must hear this silly thing that Pho and I did. It's my idea, though, haha...
After work, we actually took the MRT to Bedok, then bus to Bedok Reservoir, in order to try to take the express bus 506 to Jurong East, haha...
This is what I get:
Office to Clementi (Bus): $0.91 (10 mins)
Clementi to Bedok (MRT): $1.07 (36 mins)
Bedok to 'Home' (Bus): $0.69 (10 mins)
And after that, guess what... Bus 506 from 'Home' to a bus stop just before the turning to Bukit Batok St 23 only takes about 40 mins. From that bus stop, I can take 189 (1 stop) to infront of office, or just walk 10-15 mins to office. Yes, it takes longer than now, but now is 10 mins walk to MRT stn, MRT to Jurong East, change train to Bt. Batok, walk to bus interchange, wait for bus, bus to office, cross the road to reach office. Pls compare it to: take bus from in front of house, sit in the bus for 40 mins, take another bus to infront of office or just walk to office.
So for me, the result of this trial is a Haleluya, hehe... Totally a different feeling with last night.
And because Pho and Deni were still considering, I asked Francis whether it's ok if we get back to him in details on Saturday. He just said OK and will draft to us the contract thingy for us to see first. Hey... I mean, where can u find such a flexible, nice to talk, cin cai, helpful agent??? Just totally different with the rest of the agents that we met.
The more I thought of it, the more I thought it's really a grace.
God, thank You for bringing and leading us through... all the way til this stage. We still want to surrender everything into Your mighty hands, trusting You only, and not at all on ourselves. Pls show us Your way, and Your will... And help us to understand and obey. In precious Christ Name, Amen!
Last nite, on the way back from Bedok Reservoir, the more I thought of it, the more I felt very funny and unbelievable and... kinda shameful to tell my colleagues, frens, cousins, etc, if I'm really moving (though actually, we don't have to feel embarrased, it's our freedom! haha...). Well, you know, their reaction will be things like "Whatt?? R u kidding? R u crazy? Xiao ar you? Ciak pa bo se co... bla bla bla..." hahaha... So I was telling Den n pho that if we are really moving, I'll just keep quite until the time when they find out by themselves, haha...
Anyway, before I continue with my story of last night and tonight, actually my idea of moving to East is because of this:
1. First of all, we want to move. Else, we would be comfortable enough to stay on here. Why move? First, we are not very happy with the other two housemates (especially that one). Second, Pho's mum is here, and there's no enough space here, so it actually adds up the urgency of us finding a new place.
2. Since we want to move, and since our church (me and Den), cell group and community is there in the East, and since we already have intention to change job, why not move closer to church and community and hope to get a job somewhere in Central or East?
3. By moving to East, it's much more feasible for me to join more or be involved more in Church activities and ministries. I remember very well my hesitation to decide to join Church choir (because of where I stay), though after some struggle, I decided to join (by the strong calling to serve God through the gift/talent that He has given me, and by the faith that God will take care of the rest of my needs, be it time and place to stay).
4. When guests are staying at our place, by staying at Boon Lay, it really makes us only reach home very very late after the "jalan-jalan", because of the travel distance.
5. We have breathed enough of West air (quoting from Hock Chye ^^). East air is really undeniable fresherrrr..
So... Pho, Den, Silvy and I, plus Pho's mum...
We started with a unit in Kallang. Quite like it. Owner asked for 2.2K, we requested for 1.8K, but owner could only lower to 2K, and we couldn't take it. Out... (quite disappointed)
The next day, we went to view an executive maissenate flat at Bedok Reservoir which was fabulous... A very spacious windy 2-storey nice view flat with ask price of 2K negotiable. Can you imaginee??? We (Pho, Silvy and I) were sooo tempted by it and 'xin yang yang' for the whole night. But, it's quite far. 10 minutes bus-ride to Bedok Interchange. The agent also didn't put any hope on us, knowing that 3 of us work in the west. So we kinda didn't pursue it and slowly the 'xin yang yang' died off, haha... That was about 3 or 4 weeks ago.
After that I was busy with Amy, Evian and Cindy's visit, so no house viewing for 2 weeks.
Last Saturday, Pho and I started viewing again, 2 unit at Paya Lebar. Both are 2+1+1, with 2 bedrooms and 1 utility room. Not interested at all, very small unit, quite a distance for walking to MRT stn, and still priced at 1.8K.
I started feeling tired and sick of viewing house. It is really not fun at all, especially if you reach to those small and old unit. (except the Bedok Reservoir one lor, very different feeling, haha..)
Monday (replacement of National Day Public Holiday), Pho and I started circling on newspaper again. Tuesday Deni called those circled, and made 2 viewing appointments on that night after work. Both units are at Bedok, and this time we had perfect attendance (Pho, I, Silvy, Deni - without Pho's mum)
Before going, I was praying that if any of the units are the one from God, may God give all of us the uniformity of feeling towards the house, that we will all 'like' the house.
We reached the first unit, was ok, with new aircon, but quite an old house with old furniture, and just not bright n fresh. I was so so with it, but Silvy disliked it pretty much.
Proceed to second unit, block 90. Despite of the outside which I felt a bit 'terpencil', dark, with construction going on, the inside of the house was quite nicely redone, with kinda big bedrooms. But, agent sticked to 2K. Plus it's not that we like it very much, so we decided it's a NO.
However, before that, after viewing the two units, suddenly, Silvy mentioned bout the one in Bedok Reservoir (Blk 725). My first respond was, "aiyahh.. sure taken one lah... so nice house with so good price, who don't want??" Then, after nini nana here n there a bit, while having our bak chor mee at blk 85 market, we decided to give Francis (the agent) a call. So, I called. "Hi Francis, Julia here, we viewed the unit at Bedok Reservoir Rd, remember?", and surprisingly, he remembered us very well. I continued, "is it taken already?". Even more surprisingly, "No, it's not taken yet." My eyes were opened big to show my surprise to the 3 of them. "I understood you were saying 2K negotiatable, can pls ask owner if it can be 1.8K?". Francis agreed and asked this again, "Are you guys serious? Have you carefully thought of the distance?", haha...
And... more more surprisingly, owner OK with that price, plus our request for TV and additional beds and mattrass. We were shocked, didn't know how to respond. Really, because we were actually just try try only, thinking that it's very impossible that it'll still be available.
Before calling, we had concern that Deni hasn't seen the house. And guess what, Francis offered us to view once more.. hey.. it's him to offered, we didn't ask for it, okayyy...
So, we went.. at 10pm, haha.. crazy women...
(Nevertheless, from the moment we were thinking to call Francis, I had kept on been praying in my heart)
Francis said, should be ok, but will confirm again the next day (which is today), because the husband of the owner had slept.
But it's like kinda confirmed already. On that night, I was kinda sad.. haha... it's not that I don't want to move to there lor.. I want... but just very sad, thinking of how I have to wake up so early in the morning to start work at 8am in Bukit Batok. But also hesitant to say NO.
It's on the way back (in the cab), that I felt everything was very funny, and we're a bit crazy, haha...
Today, I was too occupied by work in the office and no space n time to feel anything or to think about this matter at all. In midst of it, Deni informed that Francis told us that owner is OK with price n requests, and asking us to send him our particulars so he can do the contract. AArrggghh... how r we supposed to reply??? So we kept quiet, haha...
And, you must hear this silly thing that Pho and I did. It's my idea, though, haha...
After work, we actually took the MRT to Bedok, then bus to Bedok Reservoir, in order to try to take the express bus 506 to Jurong East, haha...
This is what I get:
Office to Clementi (Bus): $0.91 (10 mins)
Clementi to Bedok (MRT): $1.07 (36 mins)
Bedok to 'Home' (Bus): $0.69 (10 mins)
And after that, guess what... Bus 506 from 'Home' to a bus stop just before the turning to Bukit Batok St 23 only takes about 40 mins. From that bus stop, I can take 189 (1 stop) to infront of office, or just walk 10-15 mins to office. Yes, it takes longer than now, but now is 10 mins walk to MRT stn, MRT to Jurong East, change train to Bt. Batok, walk to bus interchange, wait for bus, bus to office, cross the road to reach office. Pls compare it to: take bus from in front of house, sit in the bus for 40 mins, take another bus to infront of office or just walk to office.
So for me, the result of this trial is a Haleluya, hehe... Totally a different feeling with last night.
And because Pho and Deni were still considering, I asked Francis whether it's ok if we get back to him in details on Saturday. He just said OK and will draft to us the contract thingy for us to see first. Hey... I mean, where can u find such a flexible, nice to talk, cin cai, helpful agent??? Just totally different with the rest of the agents that we met.
The more I thought of it, the more I thought it's really a grace.
God, thank You for bringing and leading us through... all the way til this stage. We still want to surrender everything into Your mighty hands, trusting You only, and not at all on ourselves. Pls show us Your way, and Your will... And help us to understand and obey. In precious Christ Name, Amen!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Knowing God [1]
Was introduced by Chee Boon (my DTC teacher) this book, was lent by him this book of his precious and very classic edition actually. Started reading it 2 weeks ago, very very touched and relevant, since I call my current spiritual life stage as the stage of "Knowing God", so decided to buy one copy so I can take my time reading and highlighting them while reading. Plus, bit pressured reading Chee Boon's very classic n precious copy, scared of tearing them accidentally, haha... Btw, I stopped reading because busy with Amy, Evian and Cindy's visit. Today is public holiday (replacement of National Day). So started reading again last night and today... Gonna record down those phrase that struck me the best :)
God... I want to know You...
Caution: Yun, know your purpose of reading this!
Page 20:
For this very reason we need, before we start to ascend our mountain, to stop and ask ourselves a very fundamental question - a question, indeed, that we always ought to put to ourselves whenever we embark on any line of study in God's holy book. The question concerns our own motives and intentions as students. We need to ask ourselves: what is my ultimate aim and object in occupying my mind with these things? What do I intend to do with my knowledge about God, once I have got it? For the fact that we have to face is this: that if we pursue theological knowledge for its own sake, it is bound to go bad on us. It will make us proud and conceited. The very greatness of the subject-matter will intoxicate us, and we shall come to think of ourselves a a cut above other Christians because of our interest in it and grasp of it; and we shall look down on those wholse theological ideas seem to us crude and inadequate, and dismiss them as very poor specimens. For, as Paul told the conceited Corinthians, 'knowledge puffs up ... the man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know' (1 Cor 8:1). To be preoccupied with getting theological knowledge as an end in itself, to approach Bible study with no higher a motive than a desire to know all the answers, is the direct route to a state of self-satisfied self-deception. We need to guard our hearts against such an attitude, and pray to be kept from it. As we saw ealier, there can be no spiritual health without doctrinal knowledge; but it is equally true that there can be no spiritual health with it, if it is sought for the wrong purpose and valued by the wrong standard. In this way, doctrinal study really can become a danger to spiritual life, and we today, no less than the Corinthians of old, need to be on our guard here.
So, this is extremely a good start to reading this book. After reading this paragraph, I really paused and 'beng kui' before God's foot to commit my purpose of reading this book, of 'Knowing about Him', of knowing His Word.
And, this is what I desire:
In order to know You better, personally, so as to love You better, serve You better, live my (Christian) life better, delight in You, and that my heart may respond to it and my life be conformed to it.
Ok, continue.. this is from page 21:
And this must be our attitude too. Our aim in studying the Godhead must be to know God himself better. Our concern must be to enlarge our acquaintance, not simply with the doctrine of God's attributes, but with the living God whose attributes they are. As he is the subject of our study, and our helper in it, so He must Himself the the end of it. We must seek, in studying God, to be led to God. It was for this purpose that revelation was given, and it is to this use that we must put it.
Title: Knowing God
Author: J.I. Packer
First edition 1973
My copy: 2005 edition
YES!! God... keep me safe from all the distraction and possibility of forgetting my ultimate purpose of knowing You... Lead me to You, and You only, Lord...
God... I want to know You...
Caution: Yun, know your purpose of reading this!
Page 20:
For this very reason we need, before we start to ascend our mountain, to stop and ask ourselves a very fundamental question - a question, indeed, that we always ought to put to ourselves whenever we embark on any line of study in God's holy book. The question concerns our own motives and intentions as students. We need to ask ourselves: what is my ultimate aim and object in occupying my mind with these things? What do I intend to do with my knowledge about God, once I have got it? For the fact that we have to face is this: that if we pursue theological knowledge for its own sake, it is bound to go bad on us. It will make us proud and conceited. The very greatness of the subject-matter will intoxicate us, and we shall come to think of ourselves a a cut above other Christians because of our interest in it and grasp of it; and we shall look down on those wholse theological ideas seem to us crude and inadequate, and dismiss them as very poor specimens. For, as Paul told the conceited Corinthians, 'knowledge puffs up ... the man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know' (1 Cor 8:1). To be preoccupied with getting theological knowledge as an end in itself, to approach Bible study with no higher a motive than a desire to know all the answers, is the direct route to a state of self-satisfied self-deception. We need to guard our hearts against such an attitude, and pray to be kept from it. As we saw ealier, there can be no spiritual health without doctrinal knowledge; but it is equally true that there can be no spiritual health with it, if it is sought for the wrong purpose and valued by the wrong standard. In this way, doctrinal study really can become a danger to spiritual life, and we today, no less than the Corinthians of old, need to be on our guard here.
So, this is extremely a good start to reading this book. After reading this paragraph, I really paused and 'beng kui' before God's foot to commit my purpose of reading this book, of 'Knowing about Him', of knowing His Word.
And, this is what I desire:
In order to know You better, personally, so as to love You better, serve You better, live my (Christian) life better, delight in You, and that my heart may respond to it and my life be conformed to it.
Ok, continue.. this is from page 21:
And this must be our attitude too. Our aim in studying the Godhead must be to know God himself better. Our concern must be to enlarge our acquaintance, not simply with the doctrine of God's attributes, but with the living God whose attributes they are. As he is the subject of our study, and our helper in it, so He must Himself the the end of it. We must seek, in studying God, to be led to God. It was for this purpose that revelation was given, and it is to this use that we must put it.
Title: Knowing God
Author: J.I. Packer
First edition 1973
My copy: 2005 edition
YES!! God... keep me safe from all the distraction and possibility of forgetting my ultimate purpose of knowing You... Lead me to You, and You only, Lord...
Saturday, August 8, 2009
all by myself...
Today I woke up late... actually just purposely woke up naturally, without alarm..
Then did my bunch of laundry (haven't washed for 2 weeks, due to visitors), watched TV, ate brunch..
Then went to Jurong Point: post Cindy's photo n left behind stuff, went to UOB to get a queue number for account opening, while waiting went to NTUC to buy honey, to Body Shop to update my NRIC, to POSB to update NRIC and to update bank book, to nubox to explore out macbook pro. Then was called by UOB, so went up to open the account. It's good! To have few things done... but.. it's "all by myself...".. very lonely...
Came home, transfer rental to ci Yatty, then went to Paya Lebar with Pho to view house. Not very interesting with the house.
Otw back, in MRT, gave up the seat to an old uncle, i believe he's in Pa's age. His hair and the way he dress is like Pa too. It made me think of Pa. Seeing him being alone made me feel so sad also that Pa's alone back there.. I miss Pa...
Just dunno why is it still so difficult for me to get away from this bad feeling of being away from home.. after so many years.. so many different places.. God.. if it's better for me not to be here, but to be back there, pls do let me know, and show me how..
Anyway... I know I'm not alone... You're with me, God... There are too many things that only You know... my 'xin tiao'...
Then did my bunch of laundry (haven't washed for 2 weeks, due to visitors), watched TV, ate brunch..
Then went to Jurong Point: post Cindy's photo n left behind stuff, went to UOB to get a queue number for account opening, while waiting went to NTUC to buy honey, to Body Shop to update my NRIC, to POSB to update NRIC and to update bank book, to nubox to explore out macbook pro. Then was called by UOB, so went up to open the account. It's good! To have few things done... but.. it's "all by myself...".. very lonely...
Came home, transfer rental to ci Yatty, then went to Paya Lebar with Pho to view house. Not very interesting with the house.
Otw back, in MRT, gave up the seat to an old uncle, i believe he's in Pa's age. His hair and the way he dress is like Pa too. It made me think of Pa. Seeing him being alone made me feel so sad also that Pa's alone back there.. I miss Pa...
Just dunno why is it still so difficult for me to get away from this bad feeling of being away from home.. after so many years.. so many different places.. God.. if it's better for me not to be here, but to be back there, pls do let me know, and show me how..
Anyway... I know I'm not alone... You're with me, God... There are too many things that only You know... my 'xin tiao'...
Friday, August 7, 2009
What can I do for God?
So, this song had actually spoken to me once, when I was listening to it in office...
But after that I forgot.. Until... That day of SOP last event at BBTC.. I was so happy to be reminded of this thought / inspiration that God'd given me :)
My Christian life has always been the kind full of activities, ministries, etc.. So, now, when I'm in the stage of not having any 'ministry', I felt very ... (hmm.. may be not used to it? guilty? uneasy lah...). Have been feeling that eversince coming to Singapore.
But recently, I have this thought, what is that all for, if I have no love for God? if I don't know Him? and I really deeply understood that knowing Him, that's also what I can do for Him. And when I listened to this song, it was reassured to me again that yes, love Him more (personally), that's one of what I can do for Him.
So, conclusion, what can I do for God? Love Him! Know Him!
(And this is also so "in line / relevant" with my current stage of spiritual life: Knowing God!)
Thank You, Father... How precious to me are your thoughts, are the way you inspired me and gave me understanding and enlightenment.
But after that I forgot.. Until... That day of SOP last event at BBTC.. I was so happy to be reminded of this thought / inspiration that God'd given me :)
My Christian life has always been the kind full of activities, ministries, etc.. So, now, when I'm in the stage of not having any 'ministry', I felt very ... (hmm.. may be not used to it? guilty? uneasy lah...). Have been feeling that eversince coming to Singapore.
But recently, I have this thought, what is that all for, if I have no love for God? if I don't know Him? and I really deeply understood that knowing Him, that's also what I can do for Him. And when I listened to this song, it was reassured to me again that yes, love Him more (personally), that's one of what I can do for Him.
So, conclusion, what can I do for God? Love Him! Know Him!
(And this is also so "in line / relevant" with my current stage of spiritual life: Knowing God!)
Thank You, Father... How precious to me are your thoughts, are the way you inspired me and gave me understanding and enlightenment.
When birthday is coming soon...
Yesterday, while walking home, suddenly felt so sad n blue. Birthday is coming soon. 25 years old already, just a few more blinks of eyes to reach 30.
"What have I done???" and "What am I doing now???"
Nothing, except sustaining live.
Ooohh... Noo... It's not supposed to be just this!!! :((
Still single, parents are yet to 'fang xin'... 'n still can't accept the fact and dunno why I have to be living far from my family.
Father... yes, I know You've been giving me all the best and those blessings in my life, and I am so thankful of my life, being born in this family, being in my communities from time to time, the churches, the workplaces, the countries, etc... But, I just feel very guilty, useless, destine-less... Still lost n not knowing where I'm supposed to be, but I want to trust in You, Lord... Yes, trust in You!
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
(Psalm 139:23)
"What have I done???" and "What am I doing now???"
Nothing, except sustaining live.
Ooohh... Noo... It's not supposed to be just this!!! :((
Still single, parents are yet to 'fang xin'... 'n still can't accept the fact and dunno why I have to be living far from my family.
Father... yes, I know You've been giving me all the best and those blessings in my life, and I am so thankful of my life, being born in this family, being in my communities from time to time, the churches, the workplaces, the countries, etc... But, I just feel very guilty, useless, destine-less... Still lost n not knowing where I'm supposed to be, but I want to trust in You, Lord... Yes, trust in You!
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
(Psalm 139:23)
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